First post, new today

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Lisa617
Posts: 2
Joined: Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:18 pm

First post, new today

Postby Lisa617 » Sat Aug 09, 2008 5:29 pm

My name is Lisa and I have suffered from depression all my life, but have never really been treated for it. I have been given anxiety pills before, but am not under a doctor's care at this point. I went to see a councelor last fall, but clammed up because I thought I was going to see a female and it ended up being a male doctor. I don't know if that made any difference anyway. I just feel weird talking about my problems and not really sure what all of them are anyway. I hate going to my medical doctor about all this, I guess I'm kind of embarrassed or something, but I just don't want to talk to him about it either. Things are really awful in my life and I also suffer from adult ADD although I have never been diagnosed with that, I now know what it was that was my problem in school. Back then no one had even heard of ADD. I dont know where to turn or who to turn to. My husband thinks all I need to do is just "snap out of it", but I think I'm going to just SNAP. I have anger issues that seem to be getting worse. Something that I do that I have NEVER told anyone is that I hit myself. Not SUPER (sometimes I do put bruises on me) hard and I don't cut myself or really bad things, but I am worried that one day it might lead to that or something. I do bang my head aginst things and hit my head alot. Sometimes I just want to pull my eyeballs out. I have no close family. My parents are dead (my mothers death 4 years ago has made me worse). I have only one brother who lives 9 hours away and we don't get to talk very often. We are 11 years different in ages (him being older) and sowe were never really "close" growing up so that bothers me too. He calls about once every 3 weeks or so, but it's just to say a quick hi and ask me whats happeneing, which nothing is ever happeneing in my life, except I am depressed and I don't want him to know it. I just don't feel comfortable talking about whats going on with me to anyone, especially a doctor so what do I do? I just can't talk to anyone really. Is there anything I can do? I need advice badly. Thanks for reading my rambling. Lisa

:cry:

shmuel
Posts: 93
Joined: Fri Jan 11, 2008 12:35 pm

Postby shmuel » Sat Aug 09, 2008 8:09 pm

Hi and welcome Lisa,
you know there`s nothing quite like being in touch,talking with people who have had or are having similar experiences.
So it`s so good to see you here..it`s a step on your journey to reclaim your life.
Finding a good counseller isn`t always an easy task,and if we are battered down with depression then even talking about to our GP becomes a major "no go".
I honestly believe you should have another try..please talk to your Doc.
I know, that will probably bring you out in cold sweats because of what you`ve said about clamming up.
However you have to break out of your isolation.
I`m not saying you should visit ya Doc and sit there and perform a 1 hour monologue :D
I can identify with your fear of talking with your Doc.. but keep in mind that`s our depression thats putting those thoughts in us.... believe me I know
Howabout - make a plan about what you want to say to the Doc and how.
You could even post it here and we could talk about it.. there are so many little things we can do to support each other here

Do feel free to use this forum and the chat fully... lots of people here that care,understand and are there to support you.. not mention the love.
Stay in touch and see ya soon... oops and a hug too ;)


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