Hello and needing support

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lindentree
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2013 4:57 am

Hello and needing support

Postby lindentree » Mon Sep 16, 2013 5:13 am

Hello

I have just registered for this board and am reaching out as I need support and am far away from all my normal support systems.

I haven't been on a board like this since I was a teenager over a decade ago. I thought I had come a long way since then but I feel like I'm right back there. Please bear with my long explanation.

When I was a teenager I had a lot of struggles with depression and anxiety. I was suicidal at a very young age. Living in a small town in rural Canada I didn't have a lot of supports, but online supports were a huge help.

When I moved into a city for University I got set up with a really good psychiatrist and an excellent face to face support group. Over the next decade I did a lot of work and got to a point where my depression was no longer an issue in my life. I got a degree in education, worked in a small town for a year which did not turn out well, then worked in other education related jobs in the city for a few years.

This spring my contract at a job I loved was over and I decided to pursue something I had often considered in the past - going overseas to teach. With my doctor's clearance and best wishes I found a job in England (as I am a math/science teacher and wanted to go somewhere I could teach my specialty). I sold my belongings, packed up and came over on a two year contract in July. Settling in was very tough but I felt I was doing okay.

Two and half weeks ago I began at the school and things went rapidly downhill. In the last two weeks I have had two panic attacks and four breakdowns. I started the process of trying to access mental health resources here but getting into the system is very slow. I was managing to tread water until this weekend one of my roommates got fired and I discovered I was facing the prospect of having to find a new living situation while still barely keeping afloat. Things in my house went very toxic very fast and by Saturday night I had another breakdown. This time was worse though - for the first time in over seven years I found myself feeling suicidal. I also had to resist the urge to self-harm.

I decided yesterday that I cannot do this to myself and sent an email to the HR person at the school. I have just, while writing this, heard from him and he and another staff member are coming over to discuss the situation (I could not face the thought of going in today).

I find myself on the other side of the world from all my supports, now jobless (or about to be), and trying to figure out what to do. I intend to return to Canada as soon as I can sort things out here and arrange flights, but that leaves me a couple weeks on my own with no resources and little to no support and I am not sure how to cope.

Any help or suggestions would be greatly appreciated. My family and friends from home are being very supportive but due to a seven hour time difference there is a large part of the day that they are sleeping and I feel totally alone.

Help please?

hollyann
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Joined: Thu Feb 12, 2009 9:44 pm
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Postby hollyann » Mon Sep 16, 2013 12:14 pm

Hi.

That has to be so hard being away from everyone. Please let us know how your talk with the HR person goes.

There is usually some online either in the forum. And if you need to talk to someone sooner, you can use the chat room. Its always open. There's no professional's so there's not a crisis support, but a lot of understanding and caring people. And maybe some that have found themselves in similar situations.

hollyann

lindentree
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Sep 16, 2013 4:57 am

Postby lindentree » Mon Sep 16, 2013 1:23 pm

Thank you for replying! Honestly just having someone respond helps a little.

The talk with the HR person went well. They are going to release me from my contract with no penalty which is very generous of them. They expressed a lot of concern and will be checking on me during the days as they know the days will be hard (lonely and empty). I was really impressed with how they responded.

The hardest part right now is just feeling very isolated. The friends I had made here are already pulling away, understandably but it still makes it hard. I will definitely check out the chat room to help with that. Thank you for the suggestion.

lovesmonet
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed Sep 25, 2013 11:25 am

Postby lovesmonet » Thu Sep 26, 2013 1:49 pm

I'm glad your talk with the school administrators went well. I'm so sorry things did not work out well for you in the job.
Ps...I'm from Canada too.

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karolanne
Posts: 171
Joined: Sat Mar 17, 2012 7:15 am
Location: Quebec, Canada

Postby karolanne » Thu Sep 26, 2013 2:28 pm

Hi there,

Why things went bad at the new school? Was it the school the problem or things at home?

I know how hard it is to deal with that kind of situation.

Did you were aware that you weren't cured, but just had few good years? I mean that your depression and anxiety could come back again? My psychiatrist, my doctor and my ex therapist always used to tell me to not forget that I may feel better, but things can go bad again...

Did you learn some tips during your therapy about how to calm the crisis?

Can you have access at a doctor and some medication? My meds help me a lot.

The chatroom is very helping. You should try it.

I'm from Canada too :)

I wish you the best.


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