My introduction

Introductions and welcomes.

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ButterflyKisses
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Location: South Bend Indiana

My introduction

Postby ButterflyKisses » Wed Sep 26, 2007 8:25 pm

Hello everyone! Just wanted to introduce myself to you all. I have suffered Depression most of my life. Brought on by tramatic events dating back to my childhood. I've never been officially diagnosed by a Doctor, but severe depression runs in my family. I try to put positive spins on things, "things happen for a reason", silver lining etc, to try to get me out of my funk's. Finding this website I'm sure will help me also. GLad to meet all of you. :D

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Fri Sep 28, 2007 10:39 am

Hello ButterflyKisses, welcome to the forums.

Do understand about depression and memories of the past. Lived through a lot as well. Staying positive is something I do myself, but there are times that depression, life events pull us down. Hopefully you will find this a place to vent, receive support and just share with us.

There is a lot offered at this site, please feel free to read, post and reply.

Welcome again.

Warmie 8)

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Stephen
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Postby Stephen » Wed Oct 03, 2007 7:41 pm

Hi ButterflyKisses,

It's nice to meet you, and welcome to the depression forums (and the rest of the website).

I will also reply to your other post in the "Profile" section, but I was wondering in response to this post, why you've never been formally diagnosed: is it something you fear, or something that you don't think would have any benefit to you?

I too have had depression (and anxiety), for many years due to events in my childhood that I seem to be unable to shake off despite therapy and medications.

Anyway, great to meet you and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Stephen

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ButterflyKisses
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Postby ButterflyKisses » Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:35 am

In answer to your question Stephen, The therapist that I saw for almost a year, told me I suffer from depression/anxiety/Post Tramatic Stress Disorder. It was my choice, with her help to not seek out meds. Addictive personalities run in my family (alcohol/prescription meds), so it was my choice to NOT have medication, due to the fear of I didn't want to become addicted to anything. I'm not saying meds don't help people. I'm just saying I didn't want to go down that Avenue, without trying other methods to help me.

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Stephen
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Postby Stephen » Thu Oct 04, 2007 7:51 pm

Okay, I understand a bit more clearly now. It seems you did a very responsible thing by avoiding medications.

My take on medications is mixed: I know that antidepressants do help a lot of people, but I really don't think they help in my case (I'm qualified to talk about this, as I'm taking two different ones at the moment). As for things like tranquilisers, I have to confess that they definitely help me, but like you, I do fear becoming addicted to them. Therefore, I only mainly take them at night to help me sleep. As you already know I'm an insomniac.

If you put aside your fear of becoming addicted to medications, do you consider your recovery has been more difficult as you have not been able to go down the "pill taking avenue"?

Stephen

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ButterflyKisses
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Location: South Bend Indiana

Postby ButterflyKisses » Thu Oct 04, 2007 8:47 pm

Do I think it has been more difficult? Hmmm, thats a very good question. It is also difficult to answer, because I don't know what its like to recover WITH medication. The only thing I can say is, my Mom has been on antidepressents for most of my adult life. I see her taking her meds, but she never deals with the problems that got her depressed. She dopes (she takes more then she should at times) herself up so that she doesn't have to feel, even the good things in life. She stays in the "dark place" with her meds as the buffer from her feelings.
I'm afraid with the colorful events of my past, that I too would easily stay in the "dark place" with meds masking my feelings. I think that you do have to FEEL pain, sorrow, anxiety...(but not to extreme) you have to feel these things to get through them. I can say that I've been through the wringer and back, several times....and I'm still here. Don't get me wrong, depression sucks! Dulling my pain wouldn't make it go away, I think it would only make it worse in my case. Hope this makes sense. :?:

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Stephen
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Postby Stephen » Thu Oct 04, 2007 11:54 pm

Yes, I thought I'd sneak in that almost impossible question!

As you say, there's no way you can really know how it would be to experience depression/anxiety/PTSD with "chemical assistance". I was really just wondering more, what your response would be -- sort of like a hypothetical.

I also do feel, that pain has to be "owned" and faced to address real issues to comprehensively understand all that these "moods disturbances" are about, and to move things forward. My understanding of antidepressants is that they are there to open the metaphorical door by say 5% in order that people can confront what they are going through. As said though, from my own personal experiences they do very little -- but that's just me.

"Dulling my pain wouldn't make it go away." So very true, and I think your approach is a much healthier approach to life compared to how your mum appears to dull her emotions into a void.

All that you said makes sense to me!

Stephen

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Mon Oct 08, 2007 8:30 am

Think we all deal with depression, our past, our daily life, in our own way. We survive.

Warmie 8)

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Stephen
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Postby Stephen » Mon Oct 08, 2007 7:52 pm

And to add some thanks here... I survive better with all the support and understanding that you guys have offered me over the years in the depression chat room (and in here... it's just the chat room is busier at the moment).

Stephen

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ButterflyKisses
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Location: South Bend Indiana

Postby ButterflyKisses » Wed Oct 10, 2007 4:35 pm

With all of us sharing similar stories and feelings, we are the best one's to help each other. In the short time I have been here, it has helped me. Just the simple fact of knowing I'm not alone is a big help.

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:05 pm

Jen,

You aren't alone. In life you have your sons, that has to be a blessing. Yes we share and hopefully it will continue. Know I am willing to help and listen.

Stepehn, Yes we have share lots of talks, support, just don't know about the understanding part, LOL. for a long time. Thank you for that.

Warmie
8)

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ButterflyKisses
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Location: South Bend Indiana

Postby ButterflyKisses » Thu Oct 11, 2007 5:55 am

Yes Warmie, my sons are a blessing! When I was going through my divorce 7 years ago, they were the only thing that saved me. I knew that I had to be functionable every day...because I had to take care of their needs. I couldn't let myself get so low (which a lot of days would have been very easy!) that they couldn't didn't get taken care of. I thank god everyday they are here. :D

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:51 am

Jen, I am happy you have them, the memories you will have. The memories they will have knowing that you are there for them, no matter what.

Someday they will be the adult sons that will take care of you, now that is a nice thought, isn't it? :D

Warmie 8)

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Stephen
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Postby Stephen » Sun Oct 14, 2007 7:20 pm

Yes, I agree -- to know we're not alone makes a big difference.

I too have found this place (and the chat room specifically), very helpful in the time I've been about.

Hope you've both had a good weekend, and I hope to catch up with you soon.

Stephen

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Warmsoul/Jeanie13
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Postby Warmsoul/Jeanie13 » Sun Oct 14, 2007 11:39 pm

Good to know you aren't alone as well Stephen.

Weekend was just that, hope you was a fantastic!

Warmie 8)


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