Hi All

[DrDesmouseaux]

Hello there,

I've enjoyed reading about you all, and I thought I'd introduce myself here too.

I'm DrDesmouseaux, and I've been struggling with depression and depressive behaviours since I was 18.

Hopefully this will be a mutually supportive group...it's hard to find that...

DrDes

[Monty]

Dr Dres,

Glad to welcome you here.

Sounds like you have been, kind of checking us out, seeing what vibes you can get from the group.

I have been in a few on-line groups (not many) but I have found infinitely superior to anyone else I have looked that.

Though I am sure that the moderators don't like me saying this, 1 reason that I think that it is so successful is that we have a core group of members who re devoted to keeping the group running by posting. I always enjoy it when I get a note on the email telling me that a news message has been posted.

Long and short of it, feel welcome to write when you want, and just hang but if you don't.

Do hope though that you become one of the regulars.
I'd suggest telling us a bit more about your family or work. Good conversation starters, even in real life.

We aren't going anywhere.

[DrDesmouseaux]

It's hard to write about yourself. I've started this post several times, and just haven't gone through with it. Maybe this time I'll like what I've written and it'll be interesting. I also would prefer a certain degree of anonymity--I'm very ashamed and shy about my depression and anxiety that I have and that causes me to keep it inside where it gets worse.

I'm nearly 30, I have a successful career in education and by all accounts a great life--I have a roof over my head, and food on the table, but I feel very, very isolated. My schooling and career (the "Dr" in my name is a little premature--work on the doctorate hasn't started yet, but will soon!) is a bit esoteric, and not many people want to know about it or find it interesting when I do talk about it--and that's unfortunately a main point of conversation for me. That, and the news. At least I can tell a good story. I really prefer to listen to what other people have to say, and talk with them about what interests them. It's just easier.

I was nearly married a year ago. Thank goodness she was the one that said that there were things in life I couldn't give her (money), and she needed to move on (to find someone with more money). I didn't realize that she struggles with a character disorder (I'm not diagnosing her, but our relationship was spelled out for me in a book I read), and that our relationship was emotionally abusive. Looking back on it now, I see that, but I still have so much pain, shame, anxiety and depression resulting from that failed relationship and emotional damage.

I struggle with isolation and the depression and anxiety that results from that. And I hate it when people tell me to "just get a hobby" or "snap out of it." At times, I really feel like there's a part of me that's dying inside of me whenever I have extended periods of alone-time. (like right now)

That's a bit about me...I look forward to knowing more about you!

DrDes

[rainydays]

I can totally relate to your last post. People tell me a should just get out more or join something. Or even that I have nothing to be depressed about so just (like you said) snap out of it.

[DrDesmouseaux]

I know how you feel...isn't that just the worst? It's not that we can just magically flip a switch and be "cured" or whatever myth those people believe...it's so irritating when people say that.

Tell me a little more about yourself...it sounds like you're having a really difficult time.

DrDes

[rainydays]

well, you already wrote a really good response on my introduction post. And if you want, I just finished another post under the your story section.

[Monty]

It is true that it is good when you have the material things in life (roof over head, food, etc). often people have told me to be grateful for that fact.

I also think that it is a basic human need, to feel like you belong somewhere.

I went for many years, alone in the country. Yes I had my usual basic needs met, but I was so afraid of people that I wouldn't let anyone into my life. Kind of like the tshirt that I saw the other day "I don't have any friends because I'm paranoid"

I was afraid of being regected, plus I think that I was just so exhausted with coping with depression, and ended up doing, just those things that were absolutely necessary. I didn't have the energy to socialize.

You have made huge step in reaching out and telling, part of your story, to us. You should be proud of yourself.

[aim]

((((((((((( DrDesmouseaux))))))))))) Welcome to the DU forums. This is a wonderfully supportive group, I'm sure you will find that out the longer you stick around!