Another new girl here...
Moderators: windsong, BlueGobi, Moderators, Astrid
Another new girl here...
[/i][/b] HI every1, how's every1 doin? I found this site becuz I am suffering very bad from depression right now & am scaring myself. I have been suffering with depression off & on since 13, and are in treatment for a drug addiction that I've had since 15. I have 3 girls and a fiance who I am marrying in august, but he doesn't approve of me taking pysch meds. Honestly, the only reason right now I feel like trying is becuz I don't want my kids to be without a mother or want my mother to walk in the basement & find me dead from my own hands. I feel like I don't care anymore but I want to live so I don't hurt them,..if that makes sense. My 2 kids are babies, & I don't ever leave the house anymore nor do I talk on the phone. It's weird though becuz I was diagnosed with biopolar but I never feel hyper so I think they were wrong. I'm either extremely low or somewhat normal, which then I am not really happy or hyper at all. Like the depression goes from not-so-bad to devastating. I pretty much hide it from my family anymore, which their is 7 of us here all together, but I do think my mom is getting suspcious. I really do want to not feel this way although it's hard for me to care anymore but I need to try for my kids sake. I'm not so good with talking to people, but I will try.
Hi there.
I completely understand what you mean about wanting to give up if it wasn't for how it would effect the important people in your life. For me it's my younger sister, I wouldn't want to spoil her life by taking my own. But this doesn't mean the feelings of hopelessness go away...
Your children must be very special to you
They are the very reason you have to battle this awful depression we all relate to. Don't give up, you will get through the dark times eventually.
Welcome to the forums, I hope you can find them useful
I completely understand what you mean about wanting to give up if it wasn't for how it would effect the important people in your life. For me it's my younger sister, I wouldn't want to spoil her life by taking my own. But this doesn't mean the feelings of hopelessness go away...
Your children must be very special to you
They are the very reason you have to battle this awful depression we all relate to. Don't give up, you will get through the dark times eventually.
Welcome to the forums, I hope you can find them useful
Sugarr,
Glad that you were able to find it in you to post to this forum. Everyone here is very supportive.
I was given the diagnosis as Bipolar II, I don't have too many episodes of mania but have had more than my share of the depressive episodes. I think that is one of the reasons that there is a distinction between the bipolar I and the bipolar II diagnosis. The highs aren't has high, and the lows aren't as low.
I went through a lot of my really deep depressive episodes when my children were young. Often I couldn't see the reason to carry on. I was told, many, many times that the children of a parent who takes their own life, are so many more times likely to take their own later in their lives.
That was the scare, and I know that they weren't just idle threats. The stats do prove it. So hang in there for your kids.
For many of those bad years, things were really bad. All I can say to you is that I managed to make it through them, and in spite of all that I put them through, they turned out to be decent adults.
From your short post I could tell that you are a good mom, that your kids need you to be there.
I consider myself very fortunate that I found this site, it has helped me a lot in the short time that I have been coming to it. I am sure that it could do the same for you.
Sometimes sharing with people who care, read your posts, and are willing to give (if wanted) advice to cope with this black dog or black fog, that we are all afflicted with, does help.
Post often, let us know your story. Sometimes just letting all of the stuff out that builds up inside can do as much for you (in addition to) any meds your pdoc can prescribe.
Glad that you were able to find it in you to post to this forum. Everyone here is very supportive.
I was given the diagnosis as Bipolar II, I don't have too many episodes of mania but have had more than my share of the depressive episodes. I think that is one of the reasons that there is a distinction between the bipolar I and the bipolar II diagnosis. The highs aren't has high, and the lows aren't as low.
I went through a lot of my really deep depressive episodes when my children were young. Often I couldn't see the reason to carry on. I was told, many, many times that the children of a parent who takes their own life, are so many more times likely to take their own later in their lives.
That was the scare, and I know that they weren't just idle threats. The stats do prove it. So hang in there for your kids.
For many of those bad years, things were really bad. All I can say to you is that I managed to make it through them, and in spite of all that I put them through, they turned out to be decent adults.
From your short post I could tell that you are a good mom, that your kids need you to be there.
I consider myself very fortunate that I found this site, it has helped me a lot in the short time that I have been coming to it. I am sure that it could do the same for you.
Sometimes sharing with people who care, read your posts, and are willing to give (if wanted) advice to cope with this black dog or black fog, that we are all afflicted with, does help.
Post often, let us know your story. Sometimes just letting all of the stuff out that builds up inside can do as much for you (in addition to) any meds your pdoc can prescribe.
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