I just need to talk to someone…kind of broke down last night

[SilentSandal]

Hi, I’m a 22 year old college student, with bipolar. Ive been taking meds since I was 11, but lately I’ve been hitting low, after low, and I don’t
know where to turn to.

Some challenges that Ive been dealing with recently have been trying to lose weight/eat healthy, and make friends.

Ive never had a girlfriend and would like to be in a relationship, however small, because most of my time is spent on school and my music. I am a nice guy, I’m polite, and I talk to girls a lot, Im even friends with one, but, I don’t even know the first thing about relationships of that sort. Basically, its getting close to winter, and I want someone to cuddle with. And Ive been waiting for it to happen, but it never does, or I put it off to later (like when I’m done with school, or a successful musician, or something).

Over the summer, back home I would break down and cry a lot, like once every couple weeks. But recently, I just kind of sulk in my dorm, and don’t get things done. Every waking hour has been horrible, I don’t want to go to sleep, because I don’t want to wake up with my life being this way, and I can’t wake up to face the day well either. So I broke down last night, the worst this year, got angry, froze up, and just kind of layed on the floor, unable to do anything……..any words would mean a lot to me.

[Frame]

Welcome SilentSandal;

Your words mean a lot here too. They mean a lot for others that can read them and get support from numbers, but I think reaching out will mean a lot for you also. Look around a bit. There are posts similar to yours with replies that might give you some answers.

For now I, remember one post that said women are genetically wired to be attracted to the two combined male traits of confidence and generosity. So it might seem counter to what your feeling, but if you can find a place on campus (or close) by where you can volunteer; that will get you out of the dorm for a few hours, give you something you can talk about which shows your generosity, and build confidence by applying skills you already have now.

I and others here share many of the feelings you have.
Frame

[Alaska1958]

Hi Silent, as Frame said, I have gotten a lot of good from volunteering. For myself I've never had a really good self image and getting myself out with others who are trying to do something good for a caus. Is vvery positive.

It tends to be so easy for people drawn to this forum to withdraw from everything and live in our own minds. I've been doing that a good bit, but I don't recommend it. As far as relationships go, I'm not sure if I have much good advice. When I was your age, I tended toaalways believe that any woman I found attractive couldn't possibly be interested in me. Even though I knew better on an intellectual level, emotionally I just wouldn't let myself believe I had a chance. Still, even for me there have been some good relationships and some of my best friends are old girlfriends.

Good luck to you. Live long and prosper.

[SilentSandal]

Wow you guys.....I never really considered an option like volunteering. My parents are very religious and do that stuff all the time through the church or elsewhere. I had defiantly overlooked that option for me.


Thx everyone!!!

P.S. I felt better today, and
I'm goin 2 bed early so I
can better face 2morrow.

[Elysium]

Wow you guys.....I never really considered an option like volunteering. My parents are very religious and do that stuff all the time through the church or elsewhere. I had defiantly overlooked that option for me.


Thx everyone!!! :D

P.S. I felt better today, and
I'm goin 2 bed early so I
can better face 2morrow.

Hi there. I'm about your age and I definitely can see where you're coming from. I'm a college student as well. Male. I have no official diagnosis but in the end we're all kind of strange. (-;

I think that probably any activity that breaks up the daily pattern is worth considering. Volunteering seems like a great suggestion. New people, situations and activities can take you further than you might think.

Other than that I can recommend trying to relax from your busy mind back "into yourself" once in a while (that sounds more cliché than it actually is, practically speaking). Maybe it works for you to take a nap, listening to good music, taking a walk or whatever else. The point here is to let go of your brain's usual patterns. Having insight into this phenomena of how the brain gets caught in what it knows and is accustomed to is useful for everybody, not just depressed people or whatever.

For me this kind of stuff is meaningful and helpful, but I don't know what works for you.

Also, please write an answer if you feel like talking more. PM me or post here if there's anything that's on your mind, don't hold it in just because you've got some answers. (-;

[SilentSandal]

Thanks a bunch, Elysium... the comments here have been very helpful and positive.

I try to break up the days routine as much as possible, but I need a regular schedule, partly because I take meds 3 times a day, and they have to be pretty evenly spaced throughout the day, with meals for them to work.

Also, I should mention I have OCD and Anxiety diagnoses as well, and OCD really fixes me into doing certain things at a certain time, plus OCD does not like change. But I also have a near perfect GPA, so its good for some things.

[Elysium]

Thanks a bunch, Elysium... :D the comments here have been very helpful and positive.

I try to break up the days routine as much as possible, but I need a regular schedule, partly because I take meds 3 times a day, and they have to be pretty evenly spaced throughout the day, with meals for them to work.

Also, I should mention I have OCD and Anxiety diagnoses as well, and OCD really fixes me into doing certain things at a certain time, plus OCD does not like change. :? But I also have a near perfect GPA, so its good for some things. :P

Haha, right. I realize now that I might have over-extended the point about breaking habits to the degree that it might've gotten confusing, sorry about that. I guess that the point there was that if you feel like much of your days are "meaningless" so to speak and you're just "grinding the same old mill" or whatever, then it's worthwhile mixing things up a bit with new activities. But also it can be the other way around like you've expressed; when it's totally frustrating not to have a regular schedule of some sort, right? ^^

I ramble too much. You seem to have a perfectly fine sense of that aspect of life yourself so it's probably unnecessary that I talk about that anyway.

Can I access your music somehow by the way? Just out of the blue like that, I know. ^^
I think music is one of the more interesting mediums though so it would be great to take part of your work there. It's valid just to ignore this question by the way; it's not relevant to anything that you wanted to talk about to begin with. Also, I want to make perfectly clear that my intention here is not to tell you how great your music is before I've even listened or some kind of dishonest BS pep-talk like that; I despise that kind of dishonest approach people sometimes take. So yeah. Just curious, that's all. =)

I don't even know if this is relevant to ask here or if I should've sent you a PM instead. Do as you find appropriate if you intend to answer me, PM or forum post.