The difference between politics and baseball is that in baseball when you get caught stealing, you're out.
The eyes of men speak words the tongue cannot pronounce. (Native American proverb)
One good thing about being wrong is the joy it brings to others.
If you think nothing is impossible, try getting your name off a mailing list.
If the shortest distance between two points is a line, why does waiting in one take so long?
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Hello my sex pot," breathed the obscene phone caller. " I know you are the hotest woman on the block. If you can guess what's in my hand, I'll give you a piece of the action."
"Listen Mister," drawled the lil' ol' Texas lady, "If y'all can hold it in one hand, I ain't the least bit interested."
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Stress is the confusion created when the mind overrides the body's basic desire to choke the living crap out of some asshole who desperately deserves it.t
