As much as I can manage to tell (trigger-material)

[Qualtector]

[deleted, didn't want this up here anymore, sorry folks]

[Scarlet]

Qualtector,
I feel my words inferior in response to the eloquence and magnitude of pain expressed throughout your post.

To me; anyone who has experienced the heartache such as life has forced you to endure and has the courage to survive and share their story is an example of a true heroine.

Its sounds like that although the cruelty that life events have threw in your path taunts you; they have not been strong enough to dissolve the loveliness of your personality and heart within. I really hope you get the help you truly deserve in order to deal with the marks your traumatic past have left on you and find true happiness in this life very soon...
you truly deserve it.

Keep hanging on....
Scarlet

[Entitled]

Simply moving. Keep posting and know that while you are logged in this site you have family and are family.

[Peep212]

Qual, no apologies are needed. You gave far warning that it might trigger some people, and that I thank you for. As for writing 3rd person, my therapist (TP) told me once that if a flashback happens, I shuld view it like a movie, knowing full well it could not hurt me. Well, it can't physically, but the emotions are still a bit raw on some of my past over 30 years ago. Hugs