i feel so trapped

[sotired]

hi there, i'm 39, SAH mum of 2 young boys. i've been feeling very very tired.

i'm so tired of playing the role of a mum - gotta take care of e'thing of my kids - food, play, education etc etc.

And i'm tired of playing the role of a wife & assistant - my hb is self employed so gotta help him with his job.

Then, i'm so tired of playing the role of a daughter - attending to my mum's complaints every single day.

E'day, the moment i wake up, i've to the kids - food & work & they fight and they mess up the house. My elder boy really push me to the limit when he shows his bad attitude towards work.

Then my mum will call (she's staying with my bro), and start to complain about her life - EVERYDAY. And sometimes, she'll show me her temper if i do not want to go out have a meal with her. She'll start grumbling and grumbling.
Sometimes, she'll stay over at my place and she'll complain about how my place is dirty and messy and this has to to done, that has to be done.

Then my hb will be back with something almost every other day. He's a shopaholic - 99% of the things in my hse belong to him. He has more clothes than me, more shoes than me, more e'thing than me. He even has more toys than his kids. Another problem is he messes up the hse. He simply doesn't care if he's staying amongst garbage.

I've told my kids about what i expect of them. But it seems like they do not understand a single word i say.

I've told my mum again and again to enjoy life now that she's old. Not to be bothered about her daughter in law's mum. But she always says she can't enjoy life coz she's poor. And that i'm her only daughter so there's no one else but me to listen to her complaints. I've tried my so very best to attend to her every need but she's just making life so miserable for me ;(

I've talked to my hb again & again about his selfishness. About caring for only himself. About I need his help and that I need to breathe. He always say ok, he'll change but the very next, back to square 1.

I really wanted to hv sometime on my own. I wish I can just disappear for a week or so and just get myself away from all these.

Sorry for the long story, i just need to let it out.

[xn728]

hi sotired .im sorry you feel this way at the moment its hard being a parent and a wife especilly when you dont feel good ,i cant offer you any majic cure but i hope you can find some support here in the forum
we all have our differant problems ,and it does help to share ,i would just like to point out your not alone in this world of darkness some of us live in
and im sure you will make many new freinds here who will give you words of kindness and caring ,,the warmth of the forum will give you some comfort im sure ,be strong ,and if you stumble i will reach out and we will try to steady you on this journey ,,,,,again welcome ,,stay safe
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,wishes xn728 we have both met a new freind today ,,,hello freind !bye for now

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

Hello sotired,

Welcome to the Forums. You wanted something of your own, and you have found it here. People read and reply, give wonderful support and there for you. A second family in a sense, and psstttt, you don't have to clean up after us.

Hope to see you posting more, venting does help.

Warmie

[sotired]

thank you so much for the warm welcome

yes, venting does help. I know there's no solution to my situation, despite the constant communication with my hb / my mum and my kids. I can never change other people. i can only learn to adapt and be patient, patient, patient.

Only time can help ie when my kids are much bigger so now, i just have to deal with it a day at a time

thank you once again. I was so depressed ystdy I thot I couldn't make pass it But here I am, make it thru another day

cheers!

[xn728]

hi glad your seeing a little more clearly now ,your kids will help when they grow up ,my girls are in there twentys now and they are so goood ,
you have us here now to help you when times are hard ,we will stand at your side ,and listen to how your doing ,,dont feel alone anymore
feel the warmth of the forum around you ,,,,wishes xn728

[Mich]

Welcome to the forum sotired. You carry a very heavy load that's for sure. I hope you will find this a safe place to vent. There are many here who will support you. I wish you could carve out a little time in each day just for yourself.....I know that's easier said than done! I am also a mother of 2 children who are 14 and 13 and I feel like I am constantly working to keep things sane around the house. I hope you are well today and that you will post some more.