i cant explain this

[AndreaCoe]

everytime i think ive hit rock bottom someone hands me a shovel, latley thoguhts in my head have revolved all around death. i cant controll these thoughts there worsening and im afraid to see the day they may take action. though my battle has just begun im dropping arms and on the run. i dont want to live any longer and i cant controll these thoughts, no worrys though i have no guts, if i had no gutys i wouldnt be alive today. suicide just seems like heaven out of reach, if i could just reach out and have the guts i'd live in heaven with my grandfather and uncle the 2 closest people i have to a dad both dead. i just wish... beg... plead... for one day soon my nightmare will soon end, but the chances of that happening are slim to none. because for some reason god likes to keep me alive and piles more dirt on me so i become a walking grave. sometimes i question it. why would he do this?

[dandelion]

(((((((((((((( Andrea ))))))))))))))))

hello Andrea,
From what i read, you need some help Andrea, and you need adults there to help and guide you. Can you go to your school's counselor and ask for counceling/advise? You cannot keep this inside you, dont bottled up your feeling, you need to tell someone, as in face to face interaction to help you. Please go and see your school councelor or any adults that you trust, my thoughts are with you

love
dandelion

[xn728]

youve got to get some help my young freind ,you cant carry on like this
please try and see someone ,these are things that you need help with ,
dont get me wrong ,you can post them here if it helps you ,and we will
try and comfort you ,but this pain you carry ,now will have an effect on
the rest of your life ,i dont know know how things are in your country
but we have a confidentional childline here in england ,is there something like that were you are ? as dandelion says we all care about you so much
and it certanley causes me great pain to see your words and not be able to help further ,still i was right about you having many new freinds
was,nt i ,,,best wishes andrea,,,,stay safe ,i hope you will get to play one
like that child you so want to be ,,,,,,,,xn728,,,,,,ken