Sad Love Stories & Tragedies: Valentine's Day

[myoung5]

This is a continuation from my last post. Please reply to this one or the last one.

This Holiday got my f***** up thinking about all this shit
Tragic Romance: I found my first girlfriend on an online chatroom in 2014 while I was at college during my freshman year. We started as friends and pen pals, I lived in New Jersey and she lived in Iowa. In 2017, she decided to visit me and traveled on a bus for 18 hours across the country to visit me in my hometown and we met for the first time after multiple nights talking endlessly on the phone, sending letters, and listening to music together on the bedroom floor. I never thought I would be capable of finding love especially online. I remember that night like yesterday, I met her behind a hotel underneath a streetlamp in the shadows. We stood there like two silhouettes beneath the moon. I didn't tell my family about her arrival and I left my house in the middle of night to go see her and walked across town. We kissed and danced in the hotel room listening to Smokey Robinson and the Miracles as I cried on her shoulder. We had sex and it was so romantic nothing lustful at all our love was pure and innocent. I have to admit she was far more innocent than I was and I felt so blessed to have her in my life she was perfect and I knew she was the one I wanted to marry one day. She stayed for three days and then last day she cried and we said goodbye and I gave her poem I wrote and she left on the bus back to Iowa. That day I cried helplessly and wandered my town because I couldn't believe she was gone. Fast forward a year later, I planned to see her and I traveled to her small hometown in Sioux City, Iowa. I remember the time we spent ice skating together and falling on the ground and ignoring everyone else while we were being watched and judged. I remember wandering through ghost industrial town at night during the winter and dancing under the stars in a park where there was a statue of Virgin Mary above us covered in snow. We listened to an our favorite album and drove through the winter night and explored ghost town. I spent a summer with her swimming in lakes and picnic dates and sleeping in the woods and dancing in our rooms and reading books and writing songs together and watching movies and falling asleep by a tree. It was wonderful! It all ended unfortunately it's tragic her brother died of an alcohol overdose and I had gone through severe mental health issues while being back at home and school etc. I wanted to change my life around and move out there with her but it was impossible financially. During that time she secretly fell in love with another man who was pen pal who happened to be in prison. The last time I saw her I left her apartment in Iowa and drove back home to New Jersey with my belongings and said goodbye on her doorstep. All I know is that she is planning to move out of her town and spend her life with her pen pal she found her true love. That hotel we first met in my town has been redecorated and changed, so all my memories have gone with it.

Father, Son, and Brother Ghost Story: My dad was never actively part of my life. He is like a ghost. Just recently, he's attempted to enter my life and he invited me to meet him at a restaurant and shared how my mom tore us apart which is not true. He then offered me to go to a music store and look at keyboards together since my dad is a pianist and it's probably where I get my love of music from. I didn't want a piano or any gifts from him I just wanted his attention and experience a normal father and son relationship.I also got to meet my half-brother for the first time through my dad due to trauma and estranged relationship the three of us will never be able to come together and be family of brothers. My half-brother showed me a video of my dad playing piano on his phone and made me sob because I wish I could have learned how to play piano like my dad and three of us can bond together. He said we would hang out again. I've called him and he's never answered his phone for months. I asked him to meet me in New York as a restaurant as planned and called me and made up an excuse to ghost me. I drove two hours for nothing. I stood there restlessly across an empty table and spoke to random strangers and couples and pretended I was waiting for someone special and lied to them about him showing up. Several months later, I was admitted to the hospital and I told him I was suicidal and I called and he answered. He never said Happy Birthday or Happy New Years or Thanksgiving. One Thanksgiving as I was cutting the spine of a turkey. I had a revelation and said to myself the worst thing a father can do to his son is take his spine out. I felt that symbolic relationship with the turkey like take his pride or dignity out. I feel like my father did that to me and left me hollow and paralyzed. That Thanksgiving I was with my step dad and his family and I was so depressed because for one time in my life I wanted to spend a Thanksgiving with my half-brother and real dad and feel that connection I never had. What was the point of him trying to enter my life. Weirdly the same thing with my half-brother all contact stopped for a year what was the point of meeting him at his apartment. What was the point of any of this? I never heard from them. That night when my dad ghosted me at that restaurant I sat at the table surrounded by crowds of happy people, couples, and families. I stormed out of there and tears running down my face, I shouted and kicked things in the street while people looked at me like I was crazy and didn't understand why I was so upset. I drove all the way back home down the dark pitched highway to my hometown.

My Lost City Tales: I spent two summers in New York roaming around aimlessly and trying to find friends and develop new connections. During these summers, I tried a dating app and I won't get into it too heavily but I was ghosted and lied to by two women on the app. One particular girl lived in Baltimore Maryland and ghosted me after several dates and played with my emotions and simply returned to her previous husband. I was heartbroken and I took some pills (my antipsychotic medication) and passed out in my car on the highway. During this time, I often traveled to New York and I had made one friend there from this record store. This friend had invited me to go see him perform as a DJ at this club and for a while I helped him drive him to his sets with my cars. One night I was invited to meet him at this club and he completely ignored me around his friends on the dance floor. I was also experiencing a depressive episode at the time wrong time and place of course. I stormed out of the club and found a street corner and sat on a milk crate and pile of trash and cried helplessly nobody called me and I had no friend to talk to. The last part of this story is that one morning fast forward I decided to go to the city for the weekend to enjoy myself at this club in Brooklyn and I wanted to enjoy myself for once and have fun and meet people. I arrive there and before I go inside I cry behind my driving seat and drink some alcohol to loosen myself up and calm my anxiety. I couldn't stop shivering and a woman and her friends pass my car window and she asked if I was okay I didn't know what to say and so I shook my head and smiled as if everything was okay. Moments later, I am not lying about this shit at all. As I am locking my car door and I asked politely for a man in his car for a lighter to light up a cigarette. Two guys. come rushing behind and one guy hits me the back of the head with something idk what it was some object and I was stunned momentarily. I heard some screaming and I couldn't remember the rest. I thought they were trying to rob me and they ran away.