I can not see any light at the end of the tunnel
Posted: Mon May 20, 2019 6:52 am
I have been suffering from anxiety and mild depression for a while but I was always managing it well.
However, now I am closing 40 with no career, although I graduated as a dentist 10 years ago, and since I didn't like it, I went to do all sort of odd jobs and now I have been unemployed for more than 18 months.
I started another business and I failed and lost money for the second time in 3 years.
I had to move to share a small apartment with students, and I can not help but feel sad when I see my friends, some of who are younger than me, having good jobs, advancing in their career, buying cars and apartments and going on vacations, while I am struggling to keep up with my basic monthly costs.
I don't see the point in continuing on this planet anymore, and the only 2 things holding me back from killing myself are my family and the thought of them when they learn about my death, and not having a gun because I want my exit to be fast and as painless as possible.
However, now I am closing 40 with no career, although I graduated as a dentist 10 years ago, and since I didn't like it, I went to do all sort of odd jobs and now I have been unemployed for more than 18 months.
I started another business and I failed and lost money for the second time in 3 years.
I had to move to share a small apartment with students, and I can not help but feel sad when I see my friends, some of who are younger than me, having good jobs, advancing in their career, buying cars and apartments and going on vacations, while I am struggling to keep up with my basic monthly costs.
I don't see the point in continuing on this planet anymore, and the only 2 things holding me back from killing myself are my family and the thought of them when they learn about my death, and not having a gun because I want my exit to be fast and as painless as possible.