Very depressed

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Sasha123
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2018 10:29 pm

Very depressed

Postby Sasha123 » Fri Aug 17, 2018 10:51 pm

Hi Iam new to this group . I never thought I can be as depressed like this . Never I was depressed in my life . I was so happy and bubbly girl . Who loves to be having fun and easy going . I did few mistakes in my life . I understood what I did and sincerely Iam trying to correct And not thinking anything apart taking care of my house . Iam house wife with 3 kids . I work whole day for my family sincerely with out putting any strain on my face . Recently I noticed Iam forgetting things more than usual , being tensed , being insecure and being depressed . What ever I do my own people will find fault in it . From morning I don’t get time to eat my break fast atleast cup of water . My three kids keep me busybody. I don’t care myself anymore . But still my own people won’t be happy . They ask me what I do from morning . Iam like what I do —- I do everything and take care of everyone except myself . Still they are not happy . Today I broke out and started shouting and crying saying what I do listen . It’s been months I took care of my self . Iam weak , tired but Iam more energetic to take care of my kids. I don’t complain , j feeel happy in my work . When my own people ask me what I do and start showing their frustration I feel very tired depressive . I feel like killing my self . I tried once , I got vexed and thought of killing but my kids faces flashed in my face I stopped . I understood what Iam doing is wrong . But how I should come out of this depression . Every night I pray god to keep me alive and not getting thought of killing my self just because of my kids . I feel like I don’t have anyone in this world . Really house wife’s are nothing imp to the society only working women is respected. House wives don’t have life ,dignity likes and dislikes ?? Am I useless ? Iam spending my quality time and energy in this family to bring my kids up . If I don’t do this and think of my self won’t I be having my career . ? If I am selfish why will I invest my time and energy my body here ?? Should I seek psychologist. Iam not showing my depression to anyone . But my thoughts are suicidal my thoughts are lonlyness my thoughts are insecure . If Iam alone I start crying. Please any advice . Can’t share with anyone of my people. They think I should not have any feelings apart from working like slave .

j2415
Posts: 64
Joined: Thu Jun 01, 2017 8:37 am

Re: Very depressed

Postby j2415 » Mon Aug 20, 2018 4:09 pm

Hi- Welcome to the group! I’m very sorry if you feel this way. When I gave birth to my my only child and decided to be a full time mom, I had the same experience. I did all the chores at home and basic needs of my baby but my friends would tell me that I didn’t do anything. Their negative comments made me cry, I was hurt and they made me feel so useless. Based on my experience, it was not easy to deal with those comments but I want to encourage you not to give up. Listening to sermons and reading articles helped me realize my value. Surround yourself with positive people. Take care of yourself and try to do things that you enjoy.

During my baby’s toddler years, aside from doing household chores and taking care of him, I did scrap-booking. I enjoyed looking at pictures and putting some decorations on them. Time flies and my baby is now a teenager. Try also to do things that you are good at. If you need someone to talk to, you can message me anytime. I will be praying for you. Hugs.

littlestarsmum
Posts: 101
Joined: Tue May 16, 2017 11:36 pm

Re: Very depressed

Postby littlestarsmum » Mon Aug 20, 2018 11:27 pm

I’m so sorry to hear that, girl. My heart ached as I read your post, and I wish I could give you a hug. Please know that your life is precious and you don’t need to be hard on yourself. From your message, I can tell that you’re a good and a caring mother. I can understand how discouraging and exhausting it must be for you right now. Putting an end to your life is never the answer to life’s problems. Such a decision would be tragic beyond words. I’d suggest that you consider talking with a therapist. It’s best to have one-on-one interaction with a caring professional. I just said a prayer for you, and I hope that God will surround you with His comfort, strength, and peace. Remember that you deserve to feel better and you don’t need to carry your burdens alone. You can always come here to share and I’m here to support you. Stay strong. Hugs!

Sasha123
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Aug 17, 2018 10:29 pm

Re: Very depressed

Postby Sasha123 » Tue Aug 21, 2018 10:56 pm

Hi j2415 and little stars mum ,

Thanks a lot for your inspiring words . I feel there are still few people in this world who supports others and understand others feelings . I feel good by reading your posts. And one thing I realize , may be it’s always good to share with some one , about the problem who really can understand people feelings . Unfortunately I can’t say anything to my own family as they think Iam not any worth . But yes I can share with some good friends like you :).

Yes even I thought I should engage in somethings where I can be fully occupied with positive thoughts and atmosphere. It’s hard initially but yes I need to figure it out and be strong for my kids atleast .

Thanks once again for being kind to me and pouring some positive talk.


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