Openly emotional

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Aquarikitty
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 4:14 pm

Openly emotional

Postby Aquarikitty » Tue Jul 31, 2018 4:42 pm

I'm not really the person who's your really see going onto one of these sites. I guess I was just so desperate to actually talk to people instead of crying in the dark if my room or in the bathroom. Being open about my emotions was never really something I was good at. People always think that its not my emotions that I'm hiding, they think there is problem with other people I'm having. That's honestly no the case. The only problem really that I have is with myself.

I was never good at being openly emotional, but I am pretty good at being straight forward, which honestly should be helping me be more open to my close friends and family. But it doesn't. Anyway, back to being focused on the more important matter, I hate myself. And I'm pretty sure that its not just me that feels this way.

For me, depression is like a tree. The roots are the main causes of depression, the trunk is my self hate, and the branches are all the little issues that come from my self hate, which lead to even smaller ones. But each one has a factor on how much it comes to me falling and breaking.

I hope other people will agree. I can find people who actually want to talk to me about it, and know it first hand.

Suzi
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:33 am

Re: Openly emotional

Postby Suzi » Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:21 pm

Aquarikitty, welcome to the forum. I do know how you feel? I have had problems with self image in the past. I was raised in a very abusive home. It took me a long time to learn who I was and my value as a person and not see myself through the abuse and anger that was inflicted on me as a child.
You didn't say, but do you know why you dislike yourself and what is at the root of your depression?

Aquarikitty
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 4:14 pm

Re: Openly emotional

Postby Aquarikitty » Wed Aug 01, 2018 2:40 pm

For some strange reason, there wasn't really a cause of it. I guess I've never had the backround that would be reasonable that I have depression. There was never a seed planted to grow into that. guess I don't even know my own mind. Maybe it has somthing to do with my life being TO
normal. If that even makes sense. That's something I've never really thought about. Maybe its the key to the path if cutting that tree to regrow it, make it healthier.

Thank you

Suzi
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:33 am

Re: Openly emotional

Postby Suzi » Thu Aug 02, 2018 12:18 pm

Maybe you're not actually depressed. Maybe you're just on search to discover who you are, why you are here, the meaning of life, etc.
Have you ever read about self awareness or done a personality profile test? Do you know what you like to do? Do you have any plans, goals or dreams for the future?

I heard this recently: The four most crucial questions we need to live fully are 1) Origin - Where did I come from? 2) Meaning - Why am I here? 3) Morality - How should I live? 4) Destiny - Where am I headed?

So many people in these days are struggling with these questions and don't seem to have a purpose.
I like to listen to Ravi Zaccharias on You Tube. He has a video called The Meaning of Life. His views are very interesting and thought provoking. I have also read some of his books.

Aquarikitty
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 4:14 pm

Re: Openly emotional

Postby Aquarikitty » Thu Aug 02, 2018 12:29 pm

Maybe your right. I should look into it. Thanks

Suzi
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:33 am

Re: Openly emotional

Postby Suzi » Mon Aug 20, 2018 11:39 am

Aquarikitty, how are you doing?

Aquarikitty
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 4:14 pm

Re: Openly emotional

Postby Aquarikitty » Mon Aug 20, 2018 12:51 pm

I guess I'm doing better. Its not really taking over my mind anymore. O guess your advise helped.

Suzi
Posts: 43
Joined: Tue Jun 06, 2017 9:33 am

Re: Openly emotional

Postby Suzi » Wed Aug 22, 2018 11:10 am

Happy to hear you are doing better.

Aquarikitty
Posts: 9
Joined: Tue Jul 31, 2018 4:14 pm

Randomised

Postby Aquarikitty » Fri Nov 23, 2018 8:23 pm

I haven't been on very much, Schools kinda hard to catch up with. I wouldn't even say that I have depression after I've finally thought about it. I think I just have some issues to go over, or to get over with. But that doesn't mean my feelings aren't irrelevant. My parents notice some signals from me, and won't stop trying to get me to open up. For some reason, it enrages me, if that's a word. But like I've said before, They don't take how I feel the right way. I'm trying to avoid the words "don't understand", trying to avoid the stareotypical norms. I get they want to help, but they think it's something that's happened an action if you will. But I just feel negative, or sad. Beyond how I feel. I think I've been selfish. My twin sister has been having some issues. Greatfully havnt gone to the servarity of self harm, like I have. But I understand she doesn't want me to ssay anything to our parents because that's what my brother did. Behind my back, he changed the words I've said, making it sound different than how I actually felt, exactly why I wasn't ready to talk to my parents. He thought he was helping me, which I'm greatful, yet lost my trust.

I was sceptical on starting a forum, because I was worried Simone was going to tell me my feelong dont make sense, and that the only reason I feel them is because I am a woman.


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