Long story short... Im f*cked up.

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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allybirk2183
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Oct 01, 2017 7:51 pm

Long story short... Im f*cked up.

Postby allybirk2183 » Sun Oct 01, 2017 8:10 pm

I'm not going to go into my life story right now, but I will post a URL for my BLOG which tells you everything you need to know. I have been writing in it since my depression really started, a year or so ago, but I have recently needed more. I need someone - SOMEONES that UNDERSTAND what I'm going through. I love my family & friends, but none of them, really know much of what I'm going through. Honestly, I need help, and I need it from my fellow peers. I am at my wits end, hanging by a thread, ready to throw in the towel, and this is pretty much my last option.
I'd really like to help others going through the same issues, and hope for some help from anyone out there who can share in my misery. I will bullet point a few issues - and if you want to know any details, check out my BLOG. Any advice would be appreciated.
allybirk.simplesite.com :P
My page is easy to navigate - drop down MENU will take you where you need to go and PLEASE sign the guest book.

MY LIST OF GRIEVANCES:
1. Wrongfully fired from a job in 2014 for sexual harassment when in fact, I was the victim of daily sexual harassment from my peers as well as managers.
2. Bought my first car, A cherry red Dodge Avenger, before getting fired, and before losing job, my car was vandalized & Crashed into. Sadly, it was repoed after I lost my job.
3. MY CHILDREN - My son now lives with his father in California after I raised in for 10 years. My daughter is with me on weekends, but my time is very short due to no income.
4. NO JOB/DISABILITY - I was diagnosed with degenerative spinal arthritis in all 5 levels of my lower back in 2016 and have since gone through injection therapy, physical therapy, and medication treatments. I am now taking strong narcotics (which I am addicted to) 4x a day. I am also on a nerve pill for carpal tunnel which is severe in my right wrist. I was in a UTV accident on April 09 of 2017 where my hand was nearly severed. I have since been going to 3 day a week therapy sessions, I have no feeling in 3 fingers and have pain/tingling in 3 as well.
I quit my previous job as a gas station cashier due to back pain so severe that I was unable to stand. Even with these diagnoses, I have been denied unemployment.
5. I am a survivor of physical and emotional abuse that I lived through for 2 years. I am now in a much better relationship but am losing that relationship due to depression, and lack of sex drive. I need help to save this relationship.
6. Family history of suicide and depression: My mom attempted suicide when I was in high school, and my grandmother committed suicide on Oct 16th, 2011, one year after my grandpa passed away from MS.
7. NO MONEY/NO MOTIVATION/PAIN

The list goes on, but my hand is pulsating from pain so I have to stop. If you are interested in seeing pics of my injury, let me know. Pretty gnarly.

ANY HELP HERE? Appreciate any feedback or anyone who just wants to talk.

Thanks, :D :D
Alicia

SuZQ154
Posts: 4
Joined: Wed May 03, 2017 6:06 pm

Re: Long story short... Im f*cked up.

Postby SuZQ154 » Thu Oct 05, 2017 6:35 am

You have been through so many tough situations. I am sorry. You have described only a small part of your story, and my heart aches for you. Yet, your story tells me you are survivor. Please believe that you can live through this too.

Talking about our problems is the first step to dealing with them. You are doing that here. Great! Are there others near you to whom you can talk? When going through a very tough season of life, my Christian counselor gave me a safe place to vent my fears, anger, and shattered dreams, while still giving me practical and wise direction to get myself back together. She helped me to forgive, find new ways of dealing with my issues, and take care of myself, and most importantly trust and believe I was lovable and capable of loving others well. She helped me understand God would love me no matter what I did and I could forgive others for what they had done to me, whether or not they changed or said they were sorry. Have you considered counseling?

You sound like a survivor! Please keep posting.


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