The evil twins

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Wellcolormekate
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:45 am

The evil twins

Postby Wellcolormekate » Mon Sep 25, 2017 8:49 am

"Which would you say is affecting you most right now- the anxiety or the depression?"

This is the question every medical professional (GP, therapist, psychiatrist, homeopath, neurologist...) asks me when I tell them my main complaints are the gruesome twosome. Oh how can I choose? I am depressed because I am anxious every minute of the day. I am anxious at the thought of carrying on my life this way forever, leaving me with a profound feeling of hopelessness. I'm depressed that I can't seem to kick the anxiety, or get through a day without it being in the captain's seat. I'm anxious that I'll have a panic attack during work and make a fool of myself, and it's depressing to know that that fear or reality isn't going away in the foreseeable future. I'm depressed when I think about how significantly my mental health issues have hampered my life and will likely continue to do so, and I am anxious at the possibility of things only getting worse.

So, how can I choose? They are two malignant tumors I carry around, attached to me at all times. They are my two left feet, trying to trip me up. They are my two bratty kids, constantly pulling at my pant leg and demanding my attention... Yes yes, I hear you, I see you, I know you're there.

bricw11
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:13 pm

Re: The evil twins

Postby bricw11 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 10:29 pm

I often feel the same way. For me, it is like a balance beam, back and forth, adding more and more weight to each side. You have to remember that your illness is not you. It has an affect on your life, albeit a huge one, but you cannot let it take over. You have the power to sit there and wait for anxiety or depression to come back and haunt you, or you can grab the baseball bat and whack it upside the head. Even if it's a small step, such as waking up early and making yourself breakfast, or finishing a self project, every step counts.


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