I Shouldn't Feel Like This

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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grace402
Posts: 1
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:27 pm

I Shouldn't Feel Like This

Postby grace402 » Mon Mar 20, 2017 2:57 pm

I'm so sick of life but seriously shouldn't be, I shouldn't be complaining. I mean, yeah I have plenty of issues in my life but it could be so much worse. Like I know that my friends and family care about me and are there for me but I just feel so alone. I try to talk about it with them but they just don't understand and they think I'm making all of it up. It just makes the loneliness that feel, ten times worse than it already is. For as long as I can remember, I've never been like everyone else and I just have always felt like a complete outsider, not just in my friend group but in my family too. Though I've never really had good friends in the first place, the friends I did have, I pushed them away because they kept trying to replace me. Anymore I just want to be alone but when I'm alone, my thoughts get too loud and when my thoughts get loud enough...well it doesn't usually end well. I don't know what to do with myself because anymore I struggle to get through the day and I really don't feel anymore, everyday is just another day that I have to drag myself through. Weekdays are worse because I have to go to school and everyday people ask if I'm okay but I know that they don't care...so I just say that I'm fine. I'm so tired of fake smiles. I'm tired of the anxiety that just follows me around all day long, making my life a living hell. I'm tired of trying to be perfect and happy all the time when all I want to do is die.

leidid
Posts: 10
Joined: Wed Mar 15, 2017 5:59 pm

Re: I Shouldn't Feel Like This

Postby leidid » Mon Mar 20, 2017 3:06 pm

Hello grace402
I understand the feeling you have. I recently made a post "surrounded but alone" because it truly feels that way. I'm new to this forum and although I have really bad days writing my feelings out has helped. There are plenty of times I think of passive suicide and have come really close. All I can offer is that you have an ear of one member (me) and everyone else here has been helpful too. I only hope that we can move away from these feelings of intense anxiety and depression. Best of luck to you.

Dovregubben
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:01 pm

Re: I Shouldn't Feel Like This

Postby Dovregubben » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:14 pm

Hi!
I get how you are feeling, I'm going through something similar (or maybe not). I have bipolar type 2 and chronic depression. I work full time as an electrician. I am starting to get to a point where I'm so tired I honestly just want to die. Just breathing seems like a chore now.

But hear me out!
When I was in school I felt the same way. I was delusional to think nobody cared. Trust me they do. I wont lie and say it's easy, it is incredibly hard. Even though it's hard if you say to yourself; one more day. When I wake up depressed and terrible and really feel like i have had enough, i say "just one more day" to myself.

Look, I know how hard it is to convince yourself your feelings aren't right or real; Because when you feel like nobody cares, if you think nationally about you know they care!

If you wanna talk more, feel free to chat me up! (If it's even possible on this site though (I signed up 5 minutes ago)


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