im dying and no one cares

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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drakeheart
Posts: 4
Joined: Thu Jan 14, 2016 9:33 am

Postby drakeheart » Thu Jan 14, 2016 12:00 pm

Thank you , I'm still reading all your posts. I just have to say WOW, your posts are so amazing, you are such a great writer star. I can feel what you feel when you are out gazing at the stars and the sunset.

What you have written is helping me so so much.

Thank you

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Fri Jan 15, 2016 9:49 am

drakeheart,

Thanks for your posts. The stats show that lots of people read Star's posts, but it is so difficult to say thanks. Why? I don't know.

I think a great way to overcome depression is to give from yourself. But, it is hard to be vulnerable, and once you give, you have displayed trust, which for some reason some people like to pick and tear apart like a daisy ...

Star,

Hugs today too. I wish you never had to suffer, but when you write a long post there is always some good in it ... and that is the part that gives your reader's hope. If you didn't write about the bad stuff than we wouldn't be able to empathize. Thanks, we love you.

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JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Sun Jan 17, 2016 5:43 pm

100footpole wrote:
Star,

Hugs today too. I wish you never had to suffer, but when you write a long post there is always some good in it ... and that is the part that gives your reader's hope. If you didn't write about the bad stuff than we wouldn't be able to empathize. Thanks, we love you.



Thank you I really needed to hear that.

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specter
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:13 am
Location: Ohio, USA

Heartbreaking

Postby specter » Mon Jan 18, 2016 2:25 pm

Hello,

Your post is feels very agonizing to read. I got a pressure in my chest and I had to stop. What you are going through seems unbearable and I'm sorry that it's causing you so much intense suffering. If there is one thing lacking in this world is it understanding and compassion. You should be given that, and not have the expectation of feeling and doing anything that does not come naturally to you.

Thinking of you.

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JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Mon Jan 18, 2016 2:33 pm

Thank you Specter it's nice to meet you.


I can't remember the last time a friend told me they loved me. It's been that long. And I really , really need to hear things like that right now.

I've been trying as hard as I can to hold on to life but people like my niece make it so difficult. She's the kind of person that if you look her LITERALLY straight in the eye and tell her NO you can't possibly handle babysitting her baby she will keep pushing you to do it anyway. She really doesn't take other peoples feelings into consideration. Sometimes I don't think she even cares about other peoples feelings.

Like today for example the weather is horrible the wind chill has a minus 15 below zero wind chill.... 15 BELOW zero and she calls my mother on the phone and wants her to drive into town to give her some cigarettes. My mother is elderly. She's in her 70's , has back trouble , has carpel tunnel syndrome in both her hands and sometimes the bottoms of her feet go so numb she trips over them and my niece KNOWS all of this and she still treats my mother like her personal slave. It makes me so angry sometimes I can't even think straight.

One of my favorite things to do sometimes.... and I guess this might sound a little silly but in the winter time when all of the leaves are off of the trees and you can see the highway way off in the distance I will go into one of the bedrooms of my house and peek through the window out at the dark night and you can see the shining headlights of the cars as the take the giant turn that loops around about a couple miles from my house. You can see them from one bedroom window and then they totally disappear and you have to run to the other bedroom window to see them come back around the other side before they head out to the larger highway to the south. It's kinda fun. Stress reliever I guess. I told you it sounds silly but it is kinda of cool too.

I always wonder who is n the car , where are they going ? Are they happy ?

I just have to keep surrounding myself with things that take the stress away.

I just wish we lived in a world where people started respecting other people's feelings more. It would make life so much easier.

You shouldn't have to worry about people constantly harassing you so much. If someone tells you they CAN'T do something then you should respect that.

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specter
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:13 am
Location: Ohio, USA

Postby specter » Mon Jan 18, 2016 9:28 pm

I just wish we lived in a world where people started respecting other people's feelings more. It would make life so much easier.


Me too.

Helplessness is also a real problem. There are people who don't know what to do or say in response to someone else's situation. I know that ... that's how I feel with this thread. I can offer my responses based on how I feel, but that doesn't mean I can "fix" the problem. The helplessness causes people to fear it because they think they need to fix the problem, but sometimes that's not why the problem occurred. Sometimes it's a matter of "being there" for someone, not trying to "fix" something. That said, it can either be seen as an obstacle (for other people), or an opportunity (again, for other people). Things like hugging them, listening to them, and helping them around the house can be a big help.

And you are welcome.

SandyKRyder
Posts: 2
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2016 4:07 am

Postby SandyKRyder » Tue Jan 19, 2016 4:34 am

you know what you seriously need some meditation and yoga. I feel like your mind is full of so many tensions, It is not possible to express your feelings through one or two posts, but I just want to tell you that everyone cares fir you. One thing I believe is life has to go on so and everyone has to move on. You have so many health problems, everyone has. So just don't think too much about anything, just live the life with full. Practise some yoga, take medical attentions regularly. If you want you can join Triathlon Workshops NY for motivational workshops and health related problems.

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JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Fri Jan 22, 2016 11:55 am

Thank you again Specter ( hugs )

And thank you too SandyKRyder

I think the thing that helps the most when you feel stressed and overwhelmed is making yourself constantly think of the positive things in life.

Anything as long as it's something positive. Watching sunsets , your favorite t.v. show , the sound of the rain on the roof etc.

Keep thinking of them over and over and try not to let yourself think about anything else even though it's hard.

Life is so big and wonderful there is always something nice to think about. Use the nice things to help pull you through the bad.

That is what helps me get through.

100footpole
Posts: 477
Joined: Fri Oct 03, 2014 1:26 pm

Postby 100footpole » Fri Jan 22, 2016 12:30 pm

Star,

You, me, and Rocky Balboa all know that's true.

Hang in there.

(((Hugs)))

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JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Fri Jan 22, 2016 1:25 pm

Thank you so much for that 100footpole.

( Big , big HUGS )


Always ,


Star

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specter
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:13 am
Location: Ohio, USA

*hugs*

Postby specter » Fri Jan 22, 2016 5:57 pm

Hot chocolate with peanut butter sounds divine. When I read that, I thought, "I can't believe I never thought of that!" Chocolate and peanut butter are quite the combo. Unfortunately for me, I can't really eat peanuts or peanut butter because they cause me crippling constipation. Even stool softeners won't help much.... Not that anyone really needs to know that about me, but I do love some peanut butter with chocolate.

I wish I could give you a hug. *sends virtual hug*

It's great that you are enjoying your surroundings, despite the pain. I wish for you that it will fill your heart and help you out through tougher times.

... I don't know if this is ... going too far ... but if you are in a position where you are not able to live at home (God forbid) ... would you be interested in having someone send you a nice card once in a while? I really hope that doesn't come across as inappropriate in any way. I'm really sorry if anything about that upsets you. It may actually be an insensitive thing to say. ... If the time comes, though, I'd like to send cards. *winces*

Hope this isn't inappropriate in any way. *more hugs*

... Back in the 1990s, Doogie Howser was really "the thing". I was way too little to remember it. Pretty much a toddler back then. I'm fairly sure there were a handful of people who would remember it today, but I haven't spoken to them in a long time. What little I remember, I know that he was a prodigy teenager who was a doctor, and who people had the hots for. Looking back, he wasn't bad looking. There was also a song (if I remember correctly? It's so little of a memory), that was made, based off of the show, but it wasn't a part of the show. It was just a song inspired by it. ... Super popular in the early 1990s. ... No, I don't recall it back then. I learned about it post-decade.

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JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Fri Jan 22, 2016 7:19 pm

hey there Specter.

What you ask isn't inappropriate at all. Thank you. I kinda came here to write " anonymously " though.

You are welcome to email me though. I can send you my email in a private message.


love and hugs always

charlene
Posts: 15
Joined: Fri Dec 25, 2015 10:52 pm
Location: Texas

Postby charlene » Sun Jan 24, 2016 9:05 pm

I am still thinking of you and praying for you, No there isnt any pleasure in death and no way to overcome our problems in the grave. We still have hope now and a chance to be happy. God is there and He does intervene when we ask Him for help,so pray and dont stop, do it every day, all day long, know He hears you ! Faith isnt easy at times but if you keep at it when our prayers are answered its sure worth it!

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JonsDragonEyes
Posts: 465
Joined: Sat Jul 12, 2014 1:49 am

Postby JonsDragonEyes » Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:18 am

Thank you Charlene. I agree with you on that. Always.


love and hugs

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specter
Posts: 131
Joined: Mon Jan 18, 2016 1:13 am
Location: Ohio, USA

E-cards.

Postby specter » Mon Jan 25, 2016 11:04 pm

There should be some type of website "out there" where I can post e-cards in this thread. If not, some sort of photo site where I can post a virtual wall of flowers would be nice. There used to be some websites that I would search for glittering text and flowers to post on forum threads ... but I don't remember the URL of those websites, now.

Nonetheless, I could PM them to you instead.

*hugs* Take care of yourself.


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