My story? where to begin...

[Atheist]

*Deleted* sorry...

[Katietron]

Awww, isn´t there any way you could move too and be closer to your son? He needs to know you too. To get a job in the area maybe? Norway right? Social security should be rather good there, at least I´ve heard so much good about it, so maybe some employment counceling? They do that here and social security isn´t half as advanced where I live.

I do wish you the best, really really do.

[Atheist]

Thats the thing i want to move to him, and be with him..
But since iv'e got a police record(My own fault), many buisnises wont hire me :s
Norway isn't as good as many ppl think, f***** up laws and emplyment ideals that is not easy to overcome im afraid

And another thing, as you said - He needs to know me to, and im afraid that he will forget me since he lives on the other side of the country..
This is tearing me apart - And i just feel so helpless in this situation :/

But at least i can talk to him over the phone/Cam (but he is 2 years old)
But thats not enough.. Talked to him e few hours ago, and i just broke down over the phone.. Life just seems to unfair...

But thanks for the advise thou, really meens alot to me

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((((((( Emo ))))))))))))))

So much on your plate to deal with. A warm hug, hopefully to show you that you are cared for. Please continue posting. Don't let depression win out. We are here and will do all the supporting in our power.

Warmie / Jeanie

[Atheist]

Thank you Jeanie *hugs*
I hear you say that you care, But my mind don't want to realize that (wierd?)
i havent posted much here yet, but im getting there.. Mostly reading alot of whats here...

And it's not easy to win over this depression (As we all know), i just about had it with all of this crap that comes my way! - i just feel like giving up...

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((EmoPrince))))))))))))))))))))))

Thank you for the hugs back

I care, so many in here do care. Wouldn't be answering you back if I didn't. You just keep reading and hearing and eventually the mind will take it all in.

No, it isn't easy with depression, but we do try to continue living. So please don't give up, we all fight those battles of depression, together we make it one day at a time.

Post when you feel you can, I do understand it isn't always easy.

Talk with you in chat room, you know I am here as well.

Warmie;/Jeanie

[Atheist]

I'm trying to, hard as it is.. Having a hard time trusting ppl these days, no wonder tho :/

Yea well.. i'm trying tha hardest i can to deal with this depression but it seems like im fighting a lost cause... So i just .. i don't know.. feels like i just don't have the strenght to continue sad, but true..

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((((( EmoPrince )))))))))))))))))))

Then draw off of our strength in here and in the chat room. It does help.

Warmie

[Atheist]

Easyer said than done, jeanie..
But im not trying to be difficult here, but kinda hard to look at the bright side of things...

But thanks for the hug tho
(((((Jeanie)))))

[shmuel]

hi EmoPrince,
I know that feeling well...a little crack appears in our dark and lonely hole and a light finds its way in - and then somebody,some thing or maybe even we ourselves block up and its dark again.
And this happens over and over again.
I consider a few things that are very important to me:
Love,support and communication.. these things will mean different things to us all.If we are lucky we shall experience them all at the same time....but I´m not always very lucky

Things are going to happen to us in our lives that are gonna kick the shit out of us... we are going to question the reason for our existence.
And thats the biggest mistake...we don`t need a reason to be here!I´ve been through this so often...round and round on a road to nowhere.

Coming to grips with what our lives throws at us,and learning to accept and cope with situations as just a "part" of the whole situation.
We have to be aware that no matter how horrible are life is at present it`s just a part of the whole.It will get better - but we have to find the strength to go on.
Its in those real bleak times that we have to try to forget our inhibitions and cry for help - this is where I need Love,support and communication.
I`ve never experienced all 3 at the same time for years now but thats another story Main thing is finding ears and arms that`ll listen and hold you.Even here in the chat and forums - being part of a community where you can open up and be yourself.It`s a start and a part of finding solutions to our problems and worries.
Just a few of my thoughts Emoprince - I hope I got a few of them over
Keep in touch you and I look forward to talking with you soon

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

((((((((((((((((( EmoPrince)))))))))))))))))

(((((((((((((( shmuel )))))))))))))))))))))

Nicely said shmuel, thank you.

I agree with shmuel, and our community does give so much understanding, support and love. We are in this together, here for you EmoPrince. Don't forget that.

Warmie/Jeanie

[Atheist]

I guess your'e right, shmuel. And i agree.. but..
It's like i allways say: Life tends to suckerpunch us over and over again!

Love,support and communication? yea i know thats important and a good thing.. But not so easy tho! I know you guys are here for support and all, and i'm glad for that - But sometimes that's not enough
But just beeing there, knowing that - Helps a little.. i really does!

i know we are suppose to take what life gives us, but what if i don't want what life gives me? Can't help thinking that all in all life basicly sucks and what ever we try to do it will still suck.. Even when we try and fail over and over again we try again to make the best of things - But in the end someone just want to give up, cus we are fighting a lost cause (sure feels like it)

Like right now - Im in the chan, but can't bring myself to talk to anyone..
i try to interact with all, but latley i can't even do that, even tho i manage to maybe type a few words there once in a while.. thats all -.- I've told myself that it's not dangerous, but my mind wont listen! latley my mind and body are not doing what i want it to do, and i get more and more down..

It's gotten so far, that im sad to say im walking the small suicidal path :/
and i know im not suppose to think like that, but can't help myself.. Tryed and tryed to take my mind off things like this.. Making music, writing lyrics,Photoshop, listening to music.. nothing works..

Talked to my doc about this yesterday, and he gave me Zopiklon and valium.. that put yet another thought in my mind, and yes i know im just being stupid now.. but just can't help it!! and it's eating me up inside, and at the same time pissing me off!

and yes jeanie - I know you guys are there if i need to talk, I wont forget that, but just can't bring myself to so...

And now i'm afraid that im gonna get hospitalized.. wich i really dont want to! gah.. i would do ANYTHING to make all these thougs and feelings go away for just one day. Feels like im standing on the edge of my own mortality...