Success Story

[rickysmiles]

I will apologize in advance for the long story, but I know it will help those who can relate to my experience.

My Father passed away unexpectedly a little over two years ago. I was 24 at the time and had just written my final exam to become a Chartered Accountant. He passed away for health reasons and all around the time of his passing he missed a few important moments in my life.

I immediately felt numb and promised myself to stay strong for my Mother, as I'm an only child. She was heartbroken and I convinced myself that if I allow myself to feel "depressed" it would lead to worse things. I did grieve my Father's death in a healthy manner: I had little responsibilities at the time with a seasonal job, just finished school and living at home. I didn't spend my days crying (as everyone copes differently) or shutting the blinds and becoming a recluse. I stayed positive as best I could with friends, family and reconnecting with my Fathers side of the family.

As the months passed I began thinking about my father's health and his health issues as a young man (he had issues with health around my age at the time) and I became concerned for my own health. I would feel a pain in my stomach and immediately be concerned that it was something serious. Then a pulled muscle from working out in my chest made me convince myself I had heart problems. I was so concerned with my fake issues that I stopped being active to the point where I was very cautious walking the dog around the block.

The worst was waking up in the night with side-stitches. I convinced myself it was a heart issue and I immediately panicked - my heart rate went through the roof, I felt confused and nauseous and nearly called an Ambulance. I spent the next few days convinced I would be dead shortly.

I would lay in bed and have no clue what to think about... all of a sudden I didn't know how to fall asleep - I never had an issue once I was asleep... I slept like a rock. The issue was calming myself to allow my brain to let me sleep. I would hear my heart-beat and panic, which in-turn elevated my heart-rate and made me panic even more!

I would also have dull moments of the day where I would concentrate on my breathing which made me convinced that I was having breathing problems, even though I wasn't.

These symptoms lasted for over a year. I spent a year in hell.

Six months ago I had a day where I was able to not think about my breathing. As the weeks passed I was able to have more days without worry, until I finally realized I hadn't thought about my breathing or my heart and hadn't felt any physical discomfort in a long time.

The point of my story is how it's up to YOU to break the funk and get out of the rut. Those headaches, stomach pains, muscle twitches, nausea, poor appetite, sensitivity to light are all there because you are allowing it to happen.

Stay positive and FORCE yourself to do things that for some reason feel uncomfortable that never did before. Walk the dog, kiss your lover, cook an elegant meal, go to work, call your family, go to someones birthday gathering, go on vacation, go for a run and most of all LIVE YOUR LIFE!

Talk to a medical professional and before being prescribed medication be sure to educate yourself by speaking with your doctor. If your doctor didn't make it clear, ask them to repeat themselves. If that doesn't work than see a different doctor.

People say "I've lost everything". That's BS, you've lost a lot, but you're still around to make it better - The road to health isn't always a short, easy road.

[Ghost]

Glad to see you managed to deal with it by yourself, ricky. It's only that for some people, the part of the mind affected is of some kind that takes out the will to struggle or live, and that can be very hard to get back.

[Frame]

How weird is it that I totally agree with both of you.

We must somehow force ourselves to climb out of the pit. Yet the will is not there. And what is more; it is. I look at myself and I see I have the tools. I've done well. The pieces are in place. It's like the will to make it all work is a little red lever labeled PULL behind the glass . All I have to to is break the glass.

I get out a hammer, then a bazooka; I can't break the glass. What shatters instead is a reasonable view of my life. Some how, some of us have not developed the positive habits which we can almost automatically invoke in times of need (I raise my hand). The habit with which we can reboot and rise from the pit; I believe they are learned later at a much greater cost; it scares me to think perhaps some of us won't be able to afford.

That said; any tricks of the trade are much appreciated and there is no better place than here to post them.