When i was about 5 my grandmother (my fathers mother) had passed away on easter and that's when my fathers' actions got worse. my grandpa was clueless of all this until a few years ago when i finally got fed up with it and told him. When i was 9 my parents divorced because my mom was tired of the way we were treated. I'm happy mom got away from it all but that left me alone to take it all... The mental and emotional abuse grew drastically worse. I lived with my mother until she got remarried. her new husband and i got along great but he just expected way to much from an 11 yr old child. When i was 12 i walked over 15 miles to get to my dad's house to escape my stepdad because i just couldn't take the pressures of life. before i walked to my dad's house i was hospitalized for threatening to end my life many ways. and that's when the depression grew worse for me. Anyways... I lived with my dad for 4 months and went back to my mom's for 4 months then i got fed up with things again and ran from my problems denying all help from anyone since my father brain washed me into not getting help so no one could find out how he treated me and my mother. Then about 5 months into living with my dad the emotional, mental and physical pains become to much for me to take and i began to SI. the school had called him many times because they seen what i had done to myself but he just ignored what had happened. That is when i should have began treatment again but no dad didn't think i had a problem (but i did and over time it got worse). A few months later he broke up with his gf to get a new one because he was cheating on Martha with my stepmom. My mom moved to Georgia when i was 12 leaving me with my dad. She never told me she was moving i only found out 3 weeks before she was gone because i guessed she was moving but i never knew it was over 1000 miles away. That was the worse time in my life i though. About 4 months after mom left me, dad was going to leave me too for 18 months with my aunt while he decided to volunteer to goto Iraq with his new gf. He didn't want to be separated from her, so he chose to leave me, his only child stranded with strange people that i barely knew. Don't get me wrong i'm happy he went to go for his country but his family should be first and the welfare of me should have been thought of and how i would be drastically affected. My aunt and i grew close and we still are today. Same goes with grandpa. My SI had gotten worse and when my aunt found out she thought i was condemned by demons and told me i have sinned bad. So i gave up asking for help and did my own thing. I got caught up in drugs selling and doing them. I wasn't caught but i was placed on probation so i did give them up. I met my ex-gf, Kc (the one that you guys have heard so much about). She got me to change my life multiple times. When dad found out i was Bi, well my life was changed forever. He punished me in every cruel way there was and he told me i was just messed up in the head and i wasn't normal. If i wasn't normal or messed up in the head, how was i able to have decent grades in school? Anyways ever since then dad and i barely speak because I chose to move outta his house and in with my Grandma (my mom's mom). I lived with Nana for 6 months. While i was with her, my mom had gotten messed up by that doc. in April of '07. That was a life changing even for me. Just to see my mom in the condition she was in when i finally got to Georgia the day after it happened. I'm scarred forever mentally. I watched her in a coma for 8 days, on a respiratior, have a heart pump in her heart helping it beat since it was to weak to beat by itself, she gained over 40lbs in fluid. i was scared to death, my mom was fighting for her life and i just sat there helplessly watching her in ICU. Her sternum was open for 3 days because her heart was enlarged to much to wire it shut properly. I refused to leave the hospital and come home to rest. I stayed with my mom but we were only allowed to see her 5x a day for 30 min each. I stayed longer than that. I didn't let anyone besides the nurses caring for her near her. She has been currently getting worse lately and i move soon in 11 days. I was hospitalized for 10 days this January, and it did me no good because i'm still as suicidal if not worse now. But anyways, Kc and i were together for 23 months and she left me for no reason one day on Feb. 28 of this current year. We got back together on April 2nd and i just left her a day or 2 ago. Now i have a wonderful person in my life that is the greatest and she makes me so happy. If it wasn't for Nicole, i'd be a mess and i'd be so lost. So that's the story of me and it just sucks but that is why i'm so depressed. I have trouble letting go of my past and i let it get the best of me. I know i shouldn't but i do. I left somethings out but it's for the best that everyone doesn't know. I'm sorry its so lengthy, but this is all that makes me depressed and i feel a little better letting this heavy burden off my shoulders. Ok all i have to study for my Chemistry test and my American History final. that is part of why i cut the bottom short.
~Georgiapeach~
