My life recently.
Posted: Sun May 11, 2008 7:00 pm
I lack confidence
I lack self-esteem
I suffer from anxiety and depression
I am a lone child and have been living with my parents all my life (Accept 2 years of it, I fell in love just once and gave it a go to live in the US). The immigration process really is horrible.
The main factors around me that effect me is, my ex-wife, my ex-boss, both my parents are mentally ill. That I still live with my parents and I am coming to the age of 30.
My mum was given ECT(Electric shock treatment), without consent. Ever since then things have been bad. The doctor ran away and the papers were burnt, according to my dad. I do not recommend ECT for anyone! It is very bad, it's like sending shocks to a CPU in a computer. It scrambles the brain, why make it any worse? It's a gamble I tell you that.
My mum keeps running up debts, and I am sucker for helping them. I have given thousands of ponds to them to help them. Yet this is my good heart here. I hate to see my parents just rot away. I am now living mentally ill with them also. We are a vicious cycle that feed off each other.
I am currently going thorough a divorce, I lived in the US for 2 years then fell ill. Because I cannot drive, I cannot legally work, and I couldn't get enough money to fund for my immigration. Love can be blind, she was first love, deepcut. I fell in love at age of 25 for the first ever. Then at age 27 I was told to go home, as my wife couldn't handle my depression.
Then moved back and got into a job. I then resigned from my job after 5-7month (Because my mental ill health). I kept throwing up (trying to be sick) all the way to work and even at work, I knew I had to stop it. My last boss destroyed last final piece of confidence I had left.
I hate people who shout and cast names at their fellow followers for their mistakes. As this degrades them, it also degrades respect for this relationship.
I am now out of work, been out of work for over a year and half now.
I struggle getting back to work
I struggle trying to enjoy life.
I don't earn a living
I have no benefits ( I tried to get benefits but the government seem to think I do not need it).
I have been coaching myself out of depression through counciling and a few close friends. I has taken me over a year and half to get my interests backs. Also it wasn't easy building up my activies to keep me from doing nothing.
Yet recently. Mum screws up again. If my mum brings up at debt or even abuse the credit card. He will call the police on my mum. She has already done it recently.
When life ain't great, you don't enjoy it as much as other people.
I am not enjoy my life. I just hope my next week will be a positive one.
[Ppl know I ramble on]
If you curious of my thoughts about my recent events.
http://z0mans.blogspot.com/2008/05/life ... -down.html
I lack self-esteem
I suffer from anxiety and depression
I am a lone child and have been living with my parents all my life (Accept 2 years of it, I fell in love just once and gave it a go to live in the US). The immigration process really is horrible.
The main factors around me that effect me is, my ex-wife, my ex-boss, both my parents are mentally ill. That I still live with my parents and I am coming to the age of 30.
My mum was given ECT(Electric shock treatment), without consent. Ever since then things have been bad. The doctor ran away and the papers were burnt, according to my dad. I do not recommend ECT for anyone! It is very bad, it's like sending shocks to a CPU in a computer. It scrambles the brain, why make it any worse? It's a gamble I tell you that.
My mum keeps running up debts, and I am sucker for helping them. I have given thousands of ponds to them to help them. Yet this is my good heart here. I hate to see my parents just rot away. I am now living mentally ill with them also. We are a vicious cycle that feed off each other.
I am currently going thorough a divorce, I lived in the US for 2 years then fell ill. Because I cannot drive, I cannot legally work, and I couldn't get enough money to fund for my immigration. Love can be blind, she was first love, deepcut. I fell in love at age of 25 for the first ever. Then at age 27 I was told to go home, as my wife couldn't handle my depression.
Then moved back and got into a job. I then resigned from my job after 5-7month (Because my mental ill health). I kept throwing up (trying to be sick) all the way to work and even at work, I knew I had to stop it. My last boss destroyed last final piece of confidence I had left.
I hate people who shout and cast names at their fellow followers for their mistakes. As this degrades them, it also degrades respect for this relationship.
I am now out of work, been out of work for over a year and half now.
I struggle getting back to work
I struggle trying to enjoy life.
I don't earn a living
I have no benefits ( I tried to get benefits but the government seem to think I do not need it).
I have been coaching myself out of depression through counciling and a few close friends. I has taken me over a year and half to get my interests backs. Also it wasn't easy building up my activies to keep me from doing nothing.
Yet recently. Mum screws up again. If my mum brings up at debt or even abuse the credit card. He will call the police on my mum. She has already done it recently.
When life ain't great, you don't enjoy it as much as other people.
I am not enjoy my life. I just hope my next week will be a positive one.
[Ppl know I ramble on]
If you curious of my thoughts about my recent events.
http://z0mans.blogspot.com/2008/05/life ... -down.html