i give up.

[_Ihatethislife/:]

i know that life isn't easy but nobody ever said it was going to be this hard.. you dont want to be die but you dont want to continue living either. you hurt yourself on the outside trying to kill the monster on the inside. i've lost myself and i cant seem to find my way back, im sorry. but you wont have to deal with me anymore i promise i'll soon be gone. i wont be a waste of space anymore, i wont be a bother.. i'll be dead. im sorry i hate myself so much. im sorry im not perfect. im sorry im still alive. but the fact that i think about suicide everyday hurts. do you know what its like to hate every inch of yourself? do you know what its like to always feel alone.. like nobody understands you? do you what its like to wake up every morning and wishing you hadn't. do you know what its like to be afraid of yourself because you hate who you have become. but then again suicide is the answer,right? yes. it has to be. i'll finally be happy again, i'll be completely gone. i give up. i cant do this anymore. im done. i just want to kill the monster inside my head and its much stronger than me.. its like a demon. its claws get sharper everytime you try to be stronger.. and suddenly its hard to breathe. your head is spinning and your thoughts took control of you again.. you continue to try to be stronger but there comes a point where you just cant do it anymore and im afraid i have reached that point, im sorry. i surrender. i have lost this battle..

[nenkohai]

Do not allow the dark to win.

The place of healing starts with learning how to be kind to yourself. But you have to start. And you have to learn. Its not just given to you.

So many people don't understand that happiness is not a human birthright. Happiness requires work and a level of emotional intelligence that can be learned.

With help, it is possible to re-build your life and emotional-self... to re-order your thinking. There is hope. But you have to actually start. And you have to give yourself the time and space needed to learn. It is a process. Get help with it (counselor or therapist); set the agenda with the professional you're working with. YOU. Not them. And begin.

Just

begin.

[mistystarshine]

"It's always the strangers who care."~Anonomous (hope I spelled that right)

Anyways, see? If you die, us people on the forums will be sad too. No one wants someone else to take their own lives. But I guess it is your life, right? But suicide is not the answer. It never is. Try going to a doctor or a counsler for help. We care about you, and we don't know you. I've never even seen you here before. In fact, this is my second post. *points to number of posts*

We, the strangers, will always care if you live. We want your depression to get better. Don't kill yourself. It's never the answer. Get help.

[Jalapeno]

There are no monsters inside people. We hear dissonance in ourselves, but dissonance is also utilized in beautiful music.