Please help...

[Alexandra]

I'm 17 years old with severe depression and anxiety..
I haven't met anyone that can ever understand what i'm saying when i've tried to explain..
Every single day is painful. Most of the time i don't wish to be alive.. Inside i feel like nothing. I feel worthless.
I'm bullied by my teachers at school repeatedly, i have recently stopped going just because everytime i set foot into school i break down crying.
I hate myself so much.. I don't want to be me and most of the time don't want to be alive.

Every night i lie on my bed having long hard crying fits. Every time i look in the mirror i burst into tears, i litterally cannot handle my life.
I'm falling apart and so far i havent met one person who understands who i feel.. I have been like this for years and i just cannot handle it any more.
I guess i just want to meet someone who knows what i'm going through..

[St8arrow]

I'm 17 years old with severe depression and anxiety..I haven't met anyone that can ever understand what i'm saying when i've tried to explain..Every single day is painful. Most of the time i don't wish to be alive.. Inside i feel like nothing. I feel worthless. I'm bullied by my teachers at school repeatedly.

From St8arrow

First of all, I am 74 years old so you can take my words as being "grandfatherly" advice.

Give us an example of that bullying and in reference to whatever incident that you choose to relate to us, also tell us what was happening in that instance when the bullying started?

From Alexandra

I have recently stopped going just because every time I set foot into school I break down crying. I hate myself so much.. I don't want to be me and most of the time don't want to be alive.

From St8arrow

It sounds like you are failing at achievements that are important to you. Pick out one of those achievements, other than those that you have listed above, and tell us why you have concluded that you are failing. Maybe we can help you find a way to feel as if you are being more successful than you are at the present time.

From Alexandra

Every night i lie on my bed having long hard crying fits. Every time i look in the mirror i burst into tears, i litterally cannot handle my life.
I'm falling apart and so far i havent met one person who understands who i feel.. I have been like this for years and i just cannot handle it any more. I guess i just want to meet someone who knows what i'm going through..

I can't tell you that I have gone through the same kind of feelings as you describe above, but I can tell you that if you can give honest answers to the questions that I have asked you, that there is a real chance that I can give you some kind of advice to make you feel better about yourself.

Obviously such a change will not happen overnight. You must become like a good Doctor and have lots of patients. Or if you believe in the power of prayer, here is one for you NOT TO TRY. --- Give me patience Lord, --- but hurry.

[defeated2012]

I don't know as I can provide much in the way of wisdom for you as I am going through very similar feelings myself. But I wanted to reply to at least let you know there ARE people out there who understand and who care about what you are going through.

If there is ANYONE in your life (family, friends, school counselors, clergy-if you are part of a church), that you can reach out to for help or at least someone to talk to/let out all of these feelings, I encourage you to do so. I don't have alot of people in my life I am able to confide in, but the few that I have have saved my life in ways they have no way of knowing.

If you don't have someone in your life you can talk to, keep posting here. Sometimes even reading about other people's struggles with depression can give you some perspective.

[eddd12345]

look i know how hard it is for you, trust me i do. i know that you feel like your worthless and there no point in life and like no one cares for you. i know you feel alone and that most of the time you want to kill your self. i know this because i am exactly like you. i know i am not leading by an example as i am some one who is silent when it comes to this. But the thing is i think you need help. i know its hard to get help if you havent told your anyone but i think it can help you. but i think you just need to remind your self that your beautiful and you life is worth living. you need to tell your self that people do love you can care for you. ad if you are thinking one cares for me, well your wrong because i care for you.

[DianaBananas]

I know what you're going through, Sweet Baby.....I'm right there with you. I'm feeling the same things...that's why I'm here! Sending you love!

[Alexandra]

Thankyou so much everyone for giving me reply,

From St8arrow:
Give us an example of that bullying and in reference to whatever incident that you choose to relate to us, also tell us what was happening in that instance when the bullying started?

From Alexandra

Well this was a couple of weeks ago during my maths class, I had a note saying that i was able to leave early for a sport competion i had going over the weekend,
I had recieved a text from the person taking me that they would be coming earlier than they thought, so in class i finished all my work and i told my teacher that i had to leave a little earlier. He started yelling at me straight away, saying i had no proof and that i was just trying to sneak out early. I offered to show him the texts to prove it but he refused. He started saying: Your are nothing! You may aswell just leave because you have absolutely no change in the class room so it wouldn't matter if you were here or not. Just leave, get out of my sight, you are nothing.-
So i walked back to my table, had tears running down my face got my stuff and just left.
-That was one of the minor things that happened
From St8arrow

It sounds like you are failing at achievements that are important to you. Pick out one of those achievements, other than those that you have listed above, and tell us why you have concluded that you are failing. Maybe we can help you find a way to feel as if you are being more successful than you are at the present time.

From Alexandra

Well I guess one of the things i feel i've failed at is school. I had been away alott from sickness and depression and had missed many of the topics at school, resulting in poor exam results that got me down even more..


Really thankyou everyone for replying it has made me feel a little less alone

[DianaBananas]

I'm sorry...but the teacher is guilty of abuse. You DO NOT speak to anyone, that way, no less a student!!! Who is he/she to tell ANYONE that they are "nothing"????? No respect!!!!!! Not for the Student or the Parents of that student. Sweet Baby, it's time to be Wonder Woman.....put on your armor and teach yourself to deflect the "bullets" of hatred, humiliation, BULLYING, and disrespect!!!! A line from the movie "The Help" comes to mind....."You is kind, you is smart, you is IMPORTANT"!!!!!! I'm absolutely appalled at the words that came out of this ADULT's mouth!!!!
Sending Love!

[St8arrow]

Thankyou so much everyone for giving me reply,

From St8arrow:

Give us an example of that bullying and in reference to whatever incident that you choose to relate to us, also tell us what was happening in that instance when the bullying started?

From Alexandra

Well this was a couple of weeks ago during my maths class, I had a note saying that i was able to leave early for a sport competion i had going over the weekend, I had recieved a text from the person taking me that they would be coming earlier than they thought, so in class i finished all my work and i told my teacher that i had to leave a little earlier. He started yelling at me straight away, saying i had no proof and that i was just trying to sneak out early. I offered to show him the texts to prove it but he refused. He started saying: Your are nothing! You may aswell just leave because you have absolutely no change in the class room so it wouldn't matter if you were here or not. Just leave, get out of my sight, you are nothing.- So I walked back to my table, had tears running down my face got my stuff and just left. -That was one of the minor things that happened.

From St8arrow

There is nothing minor about the incident that you just related to us. You are not the failure, your teacher is. How in heaven's name did he become a teacher with a ridiculous attitude like that. He was so convinced that he was right that he was too afraid to look at your text message to prove that he was wrong. Those tears you were crying were actually for the poor excuse for a teacher that you had to put up with.

From Alexandra

Well I guess one of the things i feel i've failed at is school. I had been away alott from sickness and depression and had missed many of the topics at school, resulting in poor exam results that got me down even more..

From St8arrow

At my advanced age of 74, perhaps I don't know what pressures the teacher is facing. Maybe if too many of his students get poor marks he will lose his job. Maybe his fear of failure caused him to rant at you. One of the things that I have learned over the years is that when we are young, or even older really, we tend to confer strength to others and a form of weakness to ourselves. Trust me, your teacher needs more help then you do when it comes to putting forward a decent and caring attitude.

From Alexandra

Really thank you everyone for replying it has made me feel a little less alone

How about that!!! Maybe, just maybe, --- we are able to provide some help and consolation to those who need it most. Thank you for such kind words. I like this site also.