doctors ,my place of help ,destroyed

[xn728]

i went to the doctors about an hour ago ,for my meds ,when you enter the building ,there a siqn that cleary says queue here ,so other patients can have confidentality,there was one person in front of me ,and when they went to the counter ,i was next ,they were there for about 5 minutes
and 2to 3 people were waiting behind me ,when a couple walked in ,passed the waiting people and stood at the counter next to the person being served ,i lent forward and said politly excuse me theres a queue
here for the recepttion ,well they both turned on me and just ripped me to shreds ,i just stood frozen ,and felt so hot and sick ,they were terrible to me in front of the whole doctors ,no one spoke up on my behalf ,they did go to the back of the queue ,but they still just muttered at me for a good 5 minutes ,im devastated i cant do anything right i hate this life
its not even a life is it ,i surrender

[crybaby1086]

Ken, I'm sorry this happened to you but you no what, its not worth beating yourself up over. Those people are idiots! The other people in the line may not have spoken up, but I assure you they were behind you. You were the voice of reason and the couple came off like heathons not fit for society. Be proud for standing up for yourself and others in the line up. It shows that you are a strong person you are.

[shatteredhopes]

(((((((((((Ken)))))))))) I am so sorry that happened to you. There's no excuse for treating people that way, especially those of us on the edge. Is there any way you could complain to your doctor or someone? People in reception often don't have any concept of mental illness and need to be sensitive but are not always.

I know since the bad hospital experience and very bad doctor, the place where I go one day tried to shift me to another doctor, which I am very leary of given I have now developed semi-trust for my doctor. I through a fit and told them they should have called and I wanted to see my doctor, blah blah blah, in short they got me back in with my doctor.

Its hard to stand up for ourselves, but sometimes we have to or we get pushed around because we are vulnerable. Can you file a complaint? You didn't deserve that treatment and you can think of it as helping others...if you complain they won't be able to treat anyone else that way...what if it was someone less strong than you and they were pushed over the edge by that? So filing a complaint may protect others from similar treatment.

Sorry my brother, but you are dear to all of us and your family. I know how something like that can ruin your day. But try to think of what you can do for yourself to make yourself feel a little better. Like think of Fran's face when she saw the decorations you put up.

With brotherly love and wishes for peace...

[Mich]

I'm so sorry that happened to you. That would be very upsetting to me too. You were right to do what you did. Those people were rude and inconsiderate in butting to the front of the line. And how awful they were for tearing into you! Shameful! I like shatteredhopes suggestion....go out and enjoy your lovely Christmas lights. It should be almost dark there now.

[xn728]

(((((mich ,shatteredhopes ,crybaby /robyn))))) its ok ,ive had a rough few weeks or so ,but this was just to much my will to walk in the outside world ,has been taken away from me ,i dont know right or wrong anymore ,i spoke to them so very politely,i was,nt at all nasty ,and i was
humiliated ,for someone who has such a fragile sensativity as i do it has
destroyed any faith i had in human kind ,its hard enough fighting in the
deep dark world the visitor keeps me in ,oh yes its back with me since
my verbal beating ,and now i realise i will have no peace in the world
i dont care what happens after death ,that wont be for a long while yet
i hope for frans and the girls sake at least ,im tired of walking this never
ending road of misery ,looking for hope ,yesterday i felt good ,the dark had gone and i was standing up ready to try again ,but look see what happens ,hide i must ,to aviod anymore episodes like today and once again walk with head held down ,so the higher standing people can look
down on me ,if i keep in my place maybe life will not seek me out and
beat me anymore than it has to (((((stay safe,stay strong ,stay together)))
you,ll all find what your looking one day im sure of it ,((bless you all))ken

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

(((((((((((((( All )))))))))))))))

The site is here and truly hope you have found the support, or at least some that shows others do care.

Warmie

[crybaby1086]

Ken, You are quiet today. Hope all is well.

[DeepEyes]

Heya ken, sorry havent spoken in a few days have been bogged down with work and such, but anyway im feeling a lot better past few days luckily, but in responce to your situation in my experiance for every geniune saint on this earth there are 2 bastards to level it out, you ran into a couple of them and the thought of you beating yourself up over 2 people that rude and ignorant makes me very angry (at them of course) please ken dont think that you were in the wrong you did what any normal human would do, i have had many experiances like this in my life and i know it does grind you down, but there not worth you getting upset over, in fact there not worth anything, you did the right thing and dont think for another minute that you should feel bad over what happend, and rest assured if i was in that que and i saw what happend i would put them in there place as i cant stand scum like that, anyway ken hope your keeping well and speak soon xxx and HOLA to everyone else x

[crybaby1086]

Ken, Where are you? Do I have to buy a plane ticket and fly over there?? Cause I will...

[TackingIntoTheWind]

I was raised to be polite to other people, and when you meet people who simply don't understand how to be polite themselves, it is genuinely off-putting. You were totally within your rights to explain that there was a queue, and I suspect the reason that they were so unpleasant was that they knew that they were in the wrong, but were hoping to just get away with it. I also suspect that everyone else in the queue agreed with you, and were quite possibly wishing that they had the confidence to say what you had said.
Stay strong in the struggle!

[Warmsoul/Jeanie13]

To let one situation consume you daily life, is an easy thing to do. Just know that we all do what we feel is right. I try.

Warmsoul

[Mich]

You have been very quiet. I hope everything is okay.

[blueisgreen]

Dear Ken,
You are a brave warrior. Don't ever doubt that.
You prove it every day.
I hope you are ok. I notice you haven't posted in a while.

I'm concerned about many people on here, but I can't
get the energy to keep posting. This is such a weird time of year.
What a long, strange trip this life is being.
I hope everyone who hasn't been posting is doing well.
I will take it as a positive sign. And to those who have been posting that i have not responded to, please know you are in my thoughts and I am wishing you the best and sending you strength.
Be well everyone.

[Monty]

Ken,

It bugs me also to have people cut into line.

You were a strong man to stand up to them and didn't deserve to have abuse heaped on you.

Fran must be proud to call you her husband.

Sleep well

[xn728]

DONT WORRY This is a safe place i have found here ,deep within my soul ,silent ,cold and indeed very lonely ,ive kept myself
away from the forum for seven days now ,and the pain of missing my dear freinds has indeed lessoned ,but you must
understand it not you whom i have turned my back on and abandoned ,it is only myself i have left behind you see this
is just the last of an endless catolouge of disasters in my life ,so now i abandoned myself give up whatever you will
call it ,the fight left me ,dont think that not writing to you all here is easy ,i have lost my only pleasure
and more importantly my dearest and only freinds ,your sadness is my sadness ,almost as if i was brought here to
try and make a differance ,i suppose really the visitor has done this in a way ,but i fear my words would hurt you
or myself ,
i miss each and everyone of you ,the words you have in the past sent to me ,and the words i read left for me
the warmth of the forum ,and the pain and pleasure of writeing kind words for you all that you may rise and feel the
will and strength to go on another day ,so i lay with russ now ,when my dutys as father ,and husband ,freind and
carer are over ,i take the long walk inside my little world ,and i pass the horrors ,and the demons that has now
consumbed me in my new life ,and rest. sadly but freely ,not carried there by the visitor or any other montrosoty
that he visits me with these days ,but the fear of mankind, the snakes that hiss and spit at me ,they walk freely
and happily upon this earth ,but this earth is no place for me now i fear my very own words. A serpent i became and
i struck with such unthinking anger and did so much damage ,but as i lay with russ who sleeps so
soundly ,i can talk to him gently and tell him what ive become ,he wont answer he doesnt stir ,only will he wake
when good feeling times come along ,so i fear he will rest a long time because nothing happens for me anymore ,no
highs ,just a constant lithium indused state of numbness.What brought me here today ,my heart it wont let go ,when
i go to sleep it pulls ,when i wake it beats hard to remind me it does not understand why im not using it ,
every night it would give me words they would rise up and spill into my mind and bring kind conforting words for
so many souls crying out ,and now my heart overflows with compassion and wonders why it suffers pain itself
briming with so much hope ,but so silent because the mind and hands that set it free ,are silent and still.
so now the heart beats a little easier as i realise a few words of thanks ,for the messages you left for me ,
i feel the warmth of the forum once more ,it seem my mind let me down ,but my heart refused to let go .
i posted to a freind in darkness it was a nice feeling for the words to flow from my heart ,through my fingers
into the warmth of the forum ,i hope they get some benifit from those words ,just a lift if nothing else ,
tommorrow if my mind allows i will post agian ,i tire now ,but thankyou all for thinking of me ,
just because you couldent hear my words ,did,nt mean i wasnt here ,your all so kind ,wonderful people
stay very safe my (((((dearest dearest freinds)))))bless you all ken