Feel like a total failure

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Kaybear
Posts: 1
Joined: Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:20 am

Feel like a total failure

Postby Kaybear » Fri Jul 24, 2020 12:44 am

I’m 62 years and have suffered from depression most of my life. I’ve been married to my wonderful husband for 31 years. We couldn’t have children so we adopted one son as a newborn. Well he’s almost 27, still lives at home, sleeps all day and plays games all night. He was going to school until Covid came along. He finished those classes on line but doesn’t want to do more online classes or work. His psychologist died suddenly and hasn’t wanted to find a new one. If we push him, it becomes a huge family fight. We totally failed as parents. He’s on aderal for add and is depressed also. I have taken him to multiple psychologists to no avail. He can’t live with us forever! I am at my wits end with him. On top of everything else, COVID-19 comes along and I have a compromised immune system and have been stuck inside for 6 months. I’m on antidepressants but they don’t help. Meanwhile I have a stubborn dog that will still pee and poop in the house. I just don’t know what to do. My husbands sister died in feb at 63 from a heart event and their 90 year old mother is in Wisconsin and it’s difficult to fly there and back with this virus going on. Sometimes I think everyone would be better off if I just went away, so to speak. My son has no interest in meeting his birth parents and I think they would all benefit from it as they lost a son to suicide a few years back. Well, that’s my story. I suck as a mother, daughter in law, wife, friend. I hate confrontation so I turn a blind eye. I love my dog but even she doesn’t listen to me. I am in a deep rut! Thanks for listening

Chuck Wood
Posts: 18
Joined: Thu Aug 20, 2020 6:32 pm

Re: Feel like a total failure

Postby Chuck Wood » Thu Oct 22, 2020 7:28 pm

Reading your story reminds me of my mother (70's) and said to me "I wish I never had kids". (in no offence to me cuz I understand) her 1st killed himself, her 3rd killed himself, the second brother is emotionally lost and in denial but is so damn tallented and EVERYTHING that he can fool a seasoned psyciatrist/psycologist. the 2nd was doing well till his father did horible things like take away allocated college money, and said to him, "I wouldn't have anything to do with you if you wernt' my son". So any way all this my mother lives with me as my last chance for succeeding at being a good mom (shes actually the mom of all moms imo and truthfully). Shes been abused in some of the worst ways possible. She lives with this pain, she has me to work on so I can develop my talents and skills and live life.

Anyway, just wanting to share that your not the only one.

Queen.Renae.1231
Posts: 2
Joined: Fri Oct 23, 2020 11:59 pm

Re: Feel like a total failure

Postby Queen.Renae.1231 » Sat Oct 24, 2020 12:10 am

Im 28 i found out i was pregnant 9 months ago...my husband cheated on me with his secretary...i gave birth last week......now he wants to see my baby....i want custody over my daughter Hazel and she is so cute...and sweet she does need all women in her life if they can help her....She is a awesome newborn....My husband marcus wants me back idk what to do.....I know he is a cheater but hazel needs a daddy.... :( :( :( :(

Titi
Posts: 3
Joined: Fri Nov 13, 2020 7:57 pm

Re: Feel like a total failure

Postby Titi » Fri Nov 13, 2020 8:26 pm

You know, my mom is about your age, she suffered from depression for years and my little brother got diagnosed with depression at 18. She tells me sometimes that she feels like she failed as a mother, because my brother has just spent 6 months not leaving the house, quitting his classes, and playing videogames all night... But I really think she is the best mom I could have wished for, and she was the best mom for my brother too. Of course she struggled, and of course we struggle too, but moms should not feel responsible when their kids are stuck in their lives... It happens, and it will change at some point. Seriously, I am sure you did your best, you gave him love and shelter and everything he needed, moms don't have to be perfect! No one is, why would you expect yourself to be?

CamGirl
Posts: 143
Joined: Mon Dec 04, 2017 2:04 am

Re: Feel like a total failure

Postby CamGirl » Mon Nov 16, 2020 12:42 am

Don't be too hard on yourself. I think you need to breathe. Just try for a day to not think about anything. Avoid gadgets, just you, and maybe a cup of tea. Feel the wind and appreciate life as it is. Deal with things one after another. Don't try to solve them all at once as it could be overwhelming. I just want to share a quote that I've read, "This is not the year to get what we want. This is the year to appreciate what we have."


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