Dying inside

[Broken.a.million]

When I was abut 8 months pregnant I found out my husband had been texting another female. Not only was it another female but a female I knew and we were cool as well. He always told me he thought of her as a cousin because she was his cousins sister so to us she was family as well. When they first start messaging I didn't think nothing of it but somehow it started to become an every day thing as started happening late at night when he's suppose to be at work or when I was sleep. I told him how uncomfortable I was with it and we argued about it but he agreed to stop. When I checked his facebook I noticed they had no longer been messaging and I felt good because he had listened to me. Then on Father's day while he was sleep his phone lit up and he had it on vibrate. There was a single text message that said "soooooooo lol" I automatically knew it was a female because no straight dude talks like that. I didn't say a word and waited to see if he would delete the text from his phone and he did. I then programed the number in his contacts with some mad face emojis to let him know that I knew. Later that day he asked me if I had something to ask him and I said what are you talking about. He said I feel like you have something to ask me. So I asked him if he was talking to another woman. He told me it was nothing like that his brother be using his phone to text his one of his girls. I knew that was a lie instantly because he hadn't even seen his brother on Fathers day but I let it go I didn't have any solid proof at the time. I did the only thing I could think of and that was getting on my knees and praying for God to reveal it to me. And that he did. While he was sleep he got another notification. The same number and this time he forgot to delete the messages. I was so mad all I could remember from the messages was that he asked her if he was single would she could live with him and that he knew she would be over there all the time. Then he told her if her son was his how he would take care of her. I didn't even finish reading the rest I was so hurt. I didn't understand how he could do this to me already knowing I'm a high risk pregnancy. Anything could've happened to me and our baby at that point. So I confronted both of them and she acted like they wont doing anything and she was not that type so she didn't want me to think bad of her. And he promised to not talk to her again but I caught him 2 more times after that and once he sent her money because her and her son wanted food but the whole time me and your three kids barely have anything to eat and barely had $100 to our name. He was gonna message her another time but I had blocked her and it didn't go through. I feel like if I would've never caught them he would still be messaging her to this day. He tried to assure me he was gonna cut it off with her but evidently not if you still kept talking to her after I found out. My baby girl is now 6 months old and we agreed to work it out but my heart is still broken and I don't know to overcome this. I don't want to keep bringing it up and throwing it in his face when I already said I would forgive him. But now I feel me and my family were second place to her.

[Beatrice2017]

I am so sorry that you are going through this. Being cheated on is the worst. You have every right to feel the way that you do. You and your children do not deserve to be treated this way. I am so sorry that your Husband is not taking care of you. He is being abusive and controlling. The hard part is controllers don't change. Your husband is not healthy and needs help. Unless he is willing to admit that he has a problem and seek help; things will only get worse.
Is the situation with your family such that you can contact them for help? Or maybe VAWnet https://vawnet.org/sc/international-laws-and-policies-prevent-and-intervene-violence-against-women can assist you. If there is a domestic violence program where you live, maybe they can help you. One last thing- This is not your fault. You don't deserve to be treated this way.

[j2415]

Hello- I’m very sorry you are going through this. My father used to be like your husband. He used to communicate with a woman, exchanging messages until he fell in love with that woman. I saw my mother crying and was terribly hurt. It was difficult for her to forgive my father. Me and my siblings prayed for my mother while constantly giving her advice about forgiveness. Honestly, I was deeply hurt knowing that my parents’ marriage is facing such a tough time. It took many years before my mother release her forgiveness.

I know it’s easy for me to say this but I want to encourage you to forgive him. Only by the grace of God that you can do it and I will be with you in prayers. In every relationship, trust is important, I hope in spite of what he did you will be able to trust him again so you can have peace. I pray that things will get better in your marriage.

Please keep us posted. Take care. God bless.

[Broken.a.million]

Thank you both! I want to forgive him and trust him and I sure I will eventually it just seems like its taking forever for me to let go of all the hurt and pain I feel especially when he was pretty much my own friend and knew about my lack of support system but yet he choose to hurt me.