My story as a bipolar with lots of mixed episodes

Shared experiences of life, and the path that has led you to where you are.

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Dovregubben
Posts: 2
Joined: Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:01 pm

My story as a bipolar with lots of mixed episodes

Postby Dovregubben » Mon Mar 20, 2017 4:34 pm

So I think it all started when I was 13Y/O. I only had mild depression, but over the years they have evolved. When I was 16-18 I started getting delusional thinking nobody cared and like I was in a boubble protecting me from feelings. Even though I had crippeling depression I was able to get through it with good grades (even the best in my class).

I now work as an electrician making good money and have a girlfriend, but it all kinda feel pointless. I get no joy from my life, everything feels like a chore. When I'm at my worst I try to drink the pain away.

No one can see when I'm depressed, not even my girlfriend or mother. I have become such a good actor I might be fooling myself.

I'm excited to see how long I am able to last. I'm just so tired. Tired of waking up, working, sleeping, eating and even breathing. I recently went to the doctor concerning nauseousnes and puking, headaches and such. Now im taking a scan of my head to see if I have tumours, funny thing is I'm hoping it shows positive.

Helloraspberries1
Posts: 245
Joined: Wed May 25, 2016 2:11 pm

Re: My story as a bipolar with lots of mixed episodes

Postby Helloraspberries1 » Tue Mar 28, 2017 3:17 pm

I'm glad you been to see the doctor. That's very brave for you to do that.

I can understand that being someone who has to put on a front to others and pretend things are ok is common thing. I have to do the same thing too being in your situation everytime wiry family, friends and work.

One thing I've learnt is to never hide your true feelings. You got to talk to someone and tell them you can't do this anymore. They will appreciate it and help you. I know it's making first step but you done that.

I struggle making first steps too. I hide away and try to pretend everything's ok. The good thing is you been to see someone about this. In your own time you can tell your partner and family.

You seem to be doing well in terms of work and getting by. You have support too which is the main thing. Did your doctor rule out any other possible signs? Like depression or anxiety? Have they given you a diagnosis.

Don't hide away and talk to us or someone.

We're here for you and understand.

I hope everything goes alright with the scan. If not, it's not the end of the world.


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