CULTURE HOLDING ME BACK, 25 YRS OLD, OVERWHELMED

[nightowl24]

I don't know what to do with myself. I am 25 yrs old with 2 jobs, one failed college career (because of me being depressed for years now), parents that constantly nag me about school, weight, responsibilites, etc, and unsupportive siblings.

I was in a very abusive relationship almost 4-5 years ago and I still can not get over that time in my life. I still hate myself - how I look, my weight, my appearance, my abilities. I am not confident. This lead me to severe depression to the point of me self-harming (never really attempting suicide). I sought help from and started taking some anxiety medications but years later and even though I'm a little better, I'm still not fully okay!

My family is making me feel trapped in this house! I want to move out and I want to just be by free self, but I can't! In our culture, it's considered a "dishonor" and they keep telling me that and I can't stand leaving and disappointing them either..
They force me to go to a career path I do not want, and they expect me to just do whatever they want. They text and call to ask me what time I come home, what time I left the house, etc.

Please help. I just need someone to talk to.

[JonsDragonEyes]

Hi there. It sounds like you've been through hell.

First of all on being abused. That is terrible and my heart goes out to you. No one should ever have to go through something like that. I'll never understand how people can be so cruel to one another or what goes through a persons mind when they think they have a right to abuse another like that.

You can't change the past or take back what that awful person did to you but you can free yourself from the pain by being the very best you can at life. Show the world how beautiful and strong you are !!! And then little by little the pain from the abuse will start to fade away.

As for your parents it sounds like they love you very much and just want what is best for you. BUT at the same time even though they love you sometimes they don't always know what's best. The only person in life that knows the best for you is .... Y O U.

It's a hard thing but you have to make the life you want for yourself. We are all born into this world to be special , unique individuals. To find our own special likes , loves and talents.

We are born in this world to be loved by others but never held down. Don't ever let anyone hold down your dreams or your desires or let people keep you from finding your place in the world.