Search found 14 matches

by I am Larry
Wed Sep 17, 2014 8:59 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Negative Self-Talk
Replies: 13
Views: 7961

Negative Self-Talk

This is the method by which depression operates. This is the way that depression pounds me. It is relentless and is activated for me by mistakes, even the smallest ones. I have no perspective on what constitutes a large mistake. They all appear gigantic. Yesterday I forgot to put out the garbage for...
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:16 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: That the Night won't Forget
Replies: 3
Views: 10734

A good poem. I like the refrain.
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:52 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: Another Breath *Trigger warning*
Replies: 1
Views: 6202

I know cutting like you. A poignant poem. I have not cut for just over two years.
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:48 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: Depression, a poem.
Replies: 1
Views: 6146

So true. There is hope though: "That if I didn't have the support I do/
I'd snuff em out like a candle." Thank you for that. I needed to hear it. Now if I only could believe it.
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:45 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: My Darkest Side
Replies: 1
Views: 6238

Very nice. I enjoyed reading it. A river of emotion smooth flowing through absolute hurt.
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:42 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: Struggling
Replies: 2
Views: 6598

Yes, the struggle inside is all consuming, unescapable. My great fear and wish is what happens when I stop struggling.
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:33 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: I'm Tired
Replies: 1
Views: 6330

Wow! Very nice. I like your writing style. I remember many nights, many, many similar nights flooded with alcohol to remove the pain that it never could.

"Tarnished dogma" is my favorite phrase.
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:26 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: when to stop saying I love you
Replies: 4
Views: 7743

Re: when to stop saying I love you

when i move to kiss your cheek, you pull away when i touch your shoulder, you shrug off my hand when i say goodnight, you don't respond when i arrive or leave, you don't meet my eyes when i say i love you, where do the words go? Yes. This is unlove. I have felt it before. It hurts but we see it com...
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:24 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: morning
Replies: 4
Views: 7653

Re: morning

when the morning sun arises shafts of golden pain piercing my eyes forcing my shadows into a new day scorching my tears into ash an empty world fades into being a barren wasteland without you the soulless existence of nothing but wait, that sound soft steps approach near grey trees become green sma...
by I am Larry
Thu Sep 11, 2014 2:21 pm
Forum: Art Work
Topic: When Did You Ever Jesus
Replies: 1
Views: 6642

When Did You Ever Jesus

When Did You Ever Jesus You do not feel my struggles and pain, Grief all my days and shame. You did not walk with guilt for crimes committed, Regret of failures in life or Wanted to have never been born. When did you plan for suicide? What demons pounded your mind screaming? You did not hate yoursel...
by I am Larry
Mon Sep 08, 2014 3:43 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: What does motivation feel like?
Replies: 22
Views: 12956

Motivation feels like a deep mountain stream, small at first, sliding a gradual slope through fir and pine, huckleberry bushes, and wild underbrush green, brown, thick. Picking up speed, cutting a wider path, bouncing over rocks, fallen tree trunks that try but can not plug up the mounting rush of c...
by I am Larry
Mon Sep 08, 2014 3:24 pm
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Old age and depression
Replies: 7
Views: 5158

@ I am Larry, I read your other post and wanted to bring it back here with your original post: I experience similar feelings. I am 62 and have extreme grief, guild, and self-condemnation over time--decades--lost. All of the good that I once had, I destroyed by my own doing. I could handle my life f...
by I am Larry
Mon Sep 08, 2014 11:01 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: A brand new source of anxiety and depression
Replies: 2
Views: 2692

Re: A brand new source of anxiety and depression

It's something I've discovered since both finding a medication that actually works for me, and turning 30. I now feel this sense of loss and almost of mourning for all the years that I lost to this ridiculous disease. I understand that 30 isn't old, but hey. I'm on the front end of this new generat...
by I am Larry
Fri Sep 05, 2014 4:01 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Old age and depression
Replies: 7
Views: 5158

Old age and depression

I am 62 and depressed. I would like to hear from older others with depression. How do you cope with being depressed for so many years? The suicide of Robin Williams really hit me hard. He was my age and could not live one more day. I have been thinking a lot about suicide recently. Can I live one mo...

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