Search found 26 matches

by derkderk
Wed Sep 04, 2019 4:05 am
Forum: Your Story
Topic: Life taught vs Life learned
Replies: 1
Views: 92

Life taught vs Life learned

Most of us start school age, as I, and learn whats right or wrong, compelling or boring, useful or useless. It was taught how before modern civilization came around us humans survived supposedly just fine. Though our modern selves wouldn't want to trade places with ancient populations. Yet somehow w...
by derkderk
Wed Sep 04, 2019 3:16 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: just looking for an ear to listen!
Replies: 5
Views: 159

Re: just looking for an ear to listen!

I "hear" you and I fully sympathize with how you feel (or think). I (too) used to be considered the "stable" or "straight shooter" among my buddies. At an early age (around 9-11) I began to pull away from my friends. The thoughts I had in no way matched reality and (for...
by derkderk
Tue Sep 03, 2019 1:06 am
Forum: Other Thoughts, Feelings and Messages
Topic: Focus less on the world, more on yourself
Replies: 1
Views: 120

Focus less on the world, more on yourself

If I had the personality, I would keep a diary. But, I prefer to keep my observations in my own head. Among the many observations I think about, I notice a common concern among many is for approval from others. It may be my inheritance but early on I've learned to respond to others that mistreat me ...
by derkderk
Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:44 am
Forum: Expressions
Topic: I can't cry. I don't even think I remember what it feels like.
Replies: 3
Views: 240

Re: I can't cry. I don't even think I remember what it feels like.

I sympathize with not being able to cry anymore. My self analysis of why it happened to me is my mental pains are too severe to process and also keep it toegther. I'll tear up sometimes, but never actually cry. To me, I feel like I "soldier" through, battling the agony of my own thoughts k...
by derkderk
Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:32 am
Forum: Living with Depression and other Related Health Concerns
Topic: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin
Replies: 8
Views: 211

Re: Feeling depressed due to turning 30 and having always been single and a virgin

I'm a male early 30s and also a virgin. Also like you, shy introverted starting in grade school. Though I did have some romantic opportunities during my school days, I was always too scared to go all the way. For me at least, I've found it to be kind of fortunate. I haven't developed any super naggi...
by derkderk
Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:18 am
Forum: Expressions
Topic: over it
Replies: 2
Views: 71

Re: over it

Since young teens I was hearing people say don't be sad, nothings wrong, just get over it, among other variations. I eventually separated myself from the people who don't want to or haven't the desire to understand what depression actually is. I'm much older now and my condition is very serious. Man...
by derkderk
Tue Sep 03, 2019 12:07 am
Forum: Expressions
Topic: the plan to end it all
Replies: 3
Views: 158

Re: the plan to end it all

At a young age I had Ideas such as what you describe but eventually I started to think differently. As I would observe others around me who have had adventurous experiences or great opportunities I also noticed their resulting happiness or lack there of. I ended up not seeing any significant differe...
by derkderk
Wed Jul 17, 2019 9:12 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: My lessons learned because I'm ill
Replies: 0
Views: 338

My lessons learned because I'm ill

As expected, depression/bipolar and other cases are studied through psychology and neurology. I've come to conclusions of why things are and what causes what. 1. As our brains evolved, the emotional/associative memory parts (hippocampus, amygdala, etc.) developed first and was of most use before our...
by derkderk
Tue Jul 16, 2019 9:20 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: Trying to solve the root issue of my depression
Replies: 3
Views: 442

Re: Trying to solve the root issue of my depression

I'd first recommend understanding your caring and efforts to help rhymes perfectly with a parent (you) with a child having a child in the same condition as her. Other than that, her being so close to death must have magnified how you feel. Also assuming the attempt of suicide was indeed purposeful, ...
by derkderk
Tue Jul 16, 2019 8:54 pm
Forum: New Member Introductions
Topic: New and old
Replies: 1
Views: 350

Re: New and old

Eyes I use to see, and the stories told I've heard. Love became as horrid as hate.

I lie here and ponder what it is I wait for. Most say ask the lord. To most I don't relate.

Logically 2 plus 2 is 4. But, I lost care of anything....forevermore.
by derkderk
Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:43 pm
Forum: Expressions
Topic: I dont exist
Replies: 2
Views: 270

Re: I dont exist

What you said may be the start of you getting stronger mentally. Think of a military soldier, they don't blink an eye when they get insulted by the average joe/jane. They've been to hell and back. What would be worthy of their attention is being sent back to war. That war I assume for you, and for s...
by derkderk
Tue Jul 16, 2019 7:19 pm
Forum: Your Story
Topic: I don't like myself and it feels like I never will
Replies: 5
Views: 518

Re: I don't like myself and it feels like I never will

Not to make things more depressing (ha..) but I'm in my thirties and living at home. I graduated high school at about 22, not GED but a very sympathetic charter school teacher helped me a lot. My mother has devoted her life to mine and does not have a life of her own as a consequence. I have stayed ...
by derkderk
Sun May 19, 2019 4:35 am
Forum: New Member Introductions
Topic: New and confused - trying to understand and learn
Replies: 4
Views: 573

Re: New and confused - trying to understand and learn

I'm in a pretty different category as you described your diagnosis (more severe) but I have some ideas that I've tried. "light therapy"- I tried the kind requiring a "staring contest" with a lighted panel and I hated it. Later, I got a "light hat" as I call it. Its a ha...
by derkderk
Sun May 19, 2019 3:42 am
Forum: Your Story
Topic: What’s next?
Replies: 4
Views: 806

Re: What’s next?

I just read everything you wrote. I don't know if my thoughts are of use to you, but I'll try. I've gone through the very difficult understanding of who "I" am and the person or "performance" I make while in public. Kind of like a famous person known for one character in a movie ...
by derkderk
Mon May 13, 2019 4:13 am
Forum: Articles and Essays | Medications: Experiences and Advice
Topic: My Psychologist’s Suggestions
Replies: 1
Views: 420

Re: My Psychologist’s Suggestions

With regards to what you described, I have very similar symptoms. I myself am bipolar. Its taken almost 20 years (with psychologists and psychiatrists) trying many medications, therapies, lifestyle changes, self analysis techniques (mindfulness) to learn how my illness behaves. After many years of m...

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